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In a Little Country Club
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 12:00 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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In a Little Country Club

I waited all week
To go out on Friday night
I was running a little late
Cause I worked overtime
I had that feeling
I'd be reeling
Something in
like a keeper
just when

(Guitar riff)

When I got to the club
She was looking real pretty
I hadn't seen her around
She must've come in from the city
made eye contact
motioned toward the floor
tipped my hat
When she said sure

(Guitar riff)

(Chorus)

She was wearing black jeans
man they were fitten just right
Rattle Snake boots
This girl was out-of-sight
She had a custom made
Diamond inlayed
Bell buckle on
A black cowgirl hat
And hair long blond

(Guitar riff)

I sat at her table
And couldn't help but grin
Every other song
We'd do it again
She was smoking hot
Why not
I told her so
She grabbed my hand
And said let's go
So--------

(Chorus)

Bridge
I asked for her number
Before it got too late
She said sure now c'mon
They're playing George Strait
So

-----------Chorus-------------
We did the two-step
Over and over again
I'd pull her in close
And give her a spin

We did a line dance
Every chance
The music was right
In a little country club
On a Friday night

In a Little Country Club © 8/23/2020 John Sturgill

Last edited on Thu Aug 27th, 2020 04:36 pm by John_Sturgill



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 Posted: Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 01:49 pm
   
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Seamus2
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Nice story friend.

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 Posted: Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 02:03 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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Thank you..



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 Posted: Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 07:28 pm
   
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MASempine
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Pretty near song. Way to write no in



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 Posted: Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 07:36 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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:) thank you. I'm going to record this for fun this afternoon.



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 Posted: Mon Aug 24th, 2020 12:36 am
   
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RainyDayMan
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You tell the story well, I can picture the scene!
It's got lots of atmosphere. Chorus is strong

If it fits the syllable count, you might simplify this to:
I made eye contact
Motioned toward the floor
Tipped my hat

I like the description of his outfit and hers, but I don't like having them both - that feels like repetition. I think her description is stronger so I'd keep that. Though honestly you could take that and make it the chorus of a different song.

You might rewrite:
She said sure now common > She said sure now c'mon
just to avoid confusion.

Ending on the chorus is the way to go. Probably a fade out for this one.

Good stuff! :)



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 Posted: Mon Aug 24th, 2020 12:46 am
   
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John_Sturgill
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Sure, I'll rework the the first verse (taking out references to his outfit) . I'll get right on it.

Thanks once again.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 12:41 pm
   
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MASempine
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Boy I messed up my post but I think you translated it correctly. Neat and way to go. Hope the recording went well



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 Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 12:55 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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Thank you. I'll probably record (video, not professional but close) it later today and will put the link here. I'm recording "I'm better than I use to Be" this morning for the Veterans Administration. (Got the nervous bug) lol



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 Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 02:51 pm
   
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MASempine
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Doing something is always better you’ve got a chance at great if you DO.



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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2020 09:51 pm
   
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Andrea
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This is very cute. I love that I can picture everything that is happening. Nice write :)

I can't wait to hear it when you are ready.



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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2020 11:40 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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Funny thing. I broke my camcorder just after recording the song for the VA. It did an ok DIY audio and video. This song your referring to is so fun I think I'll go ahead tomorrow just for kicks with my I phone.

Thanks for the kind words.
Hint:
It really was a fun night...



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 Posted: Thu Aug 27th, 2020 01:55 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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I think I have the kinks worked out and I've set it to some boot-scooten music. I broke my camcorder yesterday and since a new one won't arrive till Saturday, I'm going to record on my iPhone just for fun later today.



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 Posted: Thu Aug 27th, 2020 09:39 pm
   
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Andrea
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John_Sturgill wrote:
Funny thing. I broke my camcorder just after recording the song for the VA. It did an ok DIY audio and video. This song your referring to is so fun I think I'll go ahead tomorrow just for kicks with my I phone.

Thanks for the kind words.
Hint:
It really was a fun night...


:thumbsup

:thumbsup

:thumbsup



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 Posted: Fri Aug 28th, 2020 02:26 pm
   
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John_Sturgill
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I should have up a boot-scooten boogie performance before noon.



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