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| Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2020 01:05 am |
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1st Post |
RainbowKeeper
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Well....I tried....
I tried to paint a picture of one of the most „mysterious“ characters I have ever heared about. Another soul of the Fin de Siècle period, what it makes the whole writing thing even harder. She is one of my personal „heroines“ even if she was unhappy and her life ended very tragically.
Feel free to leave comments and feedback.
RK
Empress
Sure they say ashes to ashes. A‘
But your legend will never die
Born way to early, it is true
That you were ahead of your time
Strong and stubborn, fragile and weak
Fighting soul in a golden cage
While wanting to walk your own path
Being beautiful and sublime
You were sitting there all alone. A+
With a soul full of doubts and pain
And talking, whis‘pring to the dead
But those who are gone won’t respond
Your latest tears won’t be your last
Dancing with shadows night and day
So restlessly moving forward
Searching for all that waits beyond
Empress. B
Senseless life senseless death
Empress
Have you found your freedom?
Empress
Senseless life senseless death
Thought me to give my life it’s own sense
Every day every moment
Until my last breath
Je voudrais que mon âme s’envolât C
Vers le ciel
Par une toute petite overture
De mon cœur
Sometimes your portrait on the wall. A*
The way you look down towards me
Lights up my own disharmony
-No harm, no pain, just flying free-
And if it’s time we die and fall
© by Ian P.
22.06.11/ reworked 19.08.2020
W by Ian P.
for: VB
____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2020 10:17 pm |
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Andrea
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I think the words are really good. It is a great story. I am having a hard time find the flow in the verses. I would consider paring out some words.
I love B, C and A*
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Andrea
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| Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2020 10:19 pm |
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3rd Post |
RainbowKeeper
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Would it surprise you when I say that I have a very fast rhythm in mind?
Like she lived...that’s how it should sound.
Thanx for your fb!
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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2020 10:25 pm |
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4th Post |
Andrea
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Yes, it surprises me. That sounds different that I expect from you. I think that could work. I hope to hear it soon.
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Andrea
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| Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2020 10:31 pm |
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5th Post |
RainbowKeeper
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Thank you for giving me the feeling that it seems as if I’m still able to surprise you with something 😉
____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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