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I Never Learned To Want What I Need
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Wed Aug 19th, 2020 08:14 pm
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1st Post
MarkRhodes
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Joined: Sun Aug 16th, 2020
Location: Greemacres, Florida USA
Posts: 55
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I Never Learned To Want What I Need
Words & Music by Mark Rhodes
© 1995

I love a woman that don't love me
And I don't love a woman that does
This is how it's always been

I beg the woman that don't love me
“Please tell me why you can't.”
Lead with my heart and take it on the chin.


I never learned to want what I need
Just ached for what I thought would make me whole
It's no cause for wonder as I wake up today
My whole life's out of control.

Started working when I turned fourteen
Still don't have a lot to show.
This piddly stuff makes a place feel small

Got no land, no home of my own,
Not even a savings account---
Just enough bills to fill a Union hall

[Chorus]
[Bridge]

If I got what I needed would I know what it was?
If I did as I should would I like what that does?
Believe you me, I've tried to try it
That's how I know that it's rigged like a diet:
You're only gonna do well
As long as you feel like hell.

[Chorus]



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 Posted: Sat Aug 22nd, 2020 01:46 am
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RainyDayMan
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I'm guessing the "I never learned to want what I need" part is the chorus. If it isn't it should be!

Great opening lines:
I love a woman that don't love me
And I don't love a woman that does

I like the wry humour there.

Not so keen on this one:
Just ached for what I thought would make me whole
I feel like it should be more:
Just aching for something that's out of reach; or
Just aching for the grass on the other side
or something like that. And that would change the rhyme.

But the next two lines work:
It's no cause for wonder as I wake up today
My whole life's out of control.


Not sure about the next verse. I get that you want to cover different aspects of his life and apply the same theme, but it doesn't feel as tight here.

I'd switch this one to make it more personal:
makes a place feel small > makes me feel small

Just enough bills to fill a Union hall
another good line!

Like the start of the bridge:
If I got what I needed would I know what it was?
If I did as I should would I like what that does?

that's witty as well as making you think

Less keen on the rest of the bridge

Overall, I think the hook and the theme are strong, the wry humourous tone works well and there are some great lines there. Worth investing some more time in.



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 Posted: Sat Aug 22nd, 2020 02:59 am
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MarkRhodes
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Joined: Sun Aug 16th, 2020
Location: Greemacres, Florida USA
Posts: 55
Favorite Artist: Can't pick just one, sorry.
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
RainyDayMan wrote:
I'm guessing the "I never learned to want what I need" part is the chorus. If it isn't it should be!

Great opening lines:
I love a woman that don't love me
And I don't love a woman that does

I like the wry humour there.

Not so keen on this one:
Just ached for what I thought would make me whole
I feel like it should be more:
Just aching for something that's out of reach; or
Just aching for the grass on the other side
or something like that. And that would change the rhyme.

But the next two lines work:
It's no cause for wonder as I wake up today
My whole life's out of control.


Not sure about the next verse. I get that you want to cover different aspects of his life and apply the same theme, but it doesn't feel as tight here.

I'd switch this one to make it more personal:
makes a place feel small > makes me feel small

Just enough bills to fill a Union hall
another good line!

Like the start of the bridge:
If I got what I needed would I know what it was?
If I did as I should would I like what that does?

that's witty as well as making you think

Less keen on the rest of the bridge

Overall, I think the hook and the theme are strong, the wry humourous tone works well and there are some great lines there. Worth investing some more time in.


Thanks for the thorough comments.
Yes, "I never learned to want what I need" is the first line of the chorus.

This is a song I had completely forgotten about. Hearing it last week for the first time in about 25 years I thought, 'Hey, there's some good stuff in there.' But other parts are not so good---the 'diet' bit in the bridge seems lazy.

I think it's worth tinkering with. (Boy, some of the songs I recently unearthed stink on ice and I wonder why I didn't notice then what's so easy to see now. Maybe I've matured a bit...)

About the second verse. I'll think about it. I see your point.

I'll work with it and see what comes.
I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your comments.



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"If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." Leonard Cohen
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