The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank  
AuthorPost
jdtaper
Member
 

Joined: Sun Dec 25th, 2016
Location: Milwaukee, USA
Posts: 343
Favorite Artist: Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Garth Brooks
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Good Enough

Verse 1:

I told you that I love you, but you don’t feel the same

I gave you my heart, but you threw it away

Oh, why

You said you would see me again, but I never saw you again

I tell myself I’ll stop loving you, but I don’t know when

Oh, why

Chorus:

Why wasn’t I good enough

Why won’t you give me your love

Is there someone that you’re hiding

I’m tired of always fighting

And now no one can help me, not even God up above

I wasn’t good enough

Verse 2:

I wanted youto hold me, but you just left me cold

I tried to forget you, but the heartache’s taken its toll

I can’t let go

Bridge;

Why won’t you tell me that you love

Tell me why

Please tell me why

Chorus:

Post-Chorus:

Not good enough

Not good enough

I wasn’t good enough...

cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 1079
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Billie Holiday, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hi, JD... I like this a lot! It read well save for a some areas, as follows:

1. And now no one can help me, not even God up above. Try: And now no one can help me, maybe God above. Surely God is the best of helpers.

2. Your chorus is good, you need to repeat it after the second verse.

3. Bridge, first line: ‘Why won’t you tell me that you love,’ doesn’t quite make sense. Maybe: ‘Why won’t you tell me you may be in love.’ Or: ‘Why won’t you tell me you feel our love.’

But overall it’s looking good!

Charles

John_Sturgill
Guest
 

Joined: 
Location:  
Posts: 
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: 
Status: 
Offline
Good Enough makes the cut!

RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6665
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
It's a strong write J.D, one where you can almost hear the music playing.

The "Oh, why"s work for me. The implied pause there is like the person thinking about it.

You said you would see me again, but I never saw you again
I think you should tweak that to remove the repeat on "again" maybe:
You said I'll see you later, but I never saw you again; or
You said you would call me, but I never saw you again

I tell myself I’ll stop loving you, but I don’t know when
Very nice line

Why wasn’t I good enough
You might consider:
Was I not good enough?

The "God up above" line might put some people off. I think you have options there.

I feel like there should be a way to play on: I was good but I wasn't good enough. Not literally that line, but that concept.

It's a good lyric, and worth smoothing any bumps!


UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1895 seconds (30% database + 70% PHP). 28 queries executed.