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I Ain't Pretty
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Aug 10th, 2020 12:57 am
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JAPOV
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With a pony keg on her shoulder
A bag of charcoal in her hand
It couldn't do any harm
for me to turn on the charm
And tell her I'd love to be her man

So I put on a smile, sucked in my gut
Took out my wallet and said "take what you want"
She said, "watch your mouth and save your pennies
Honey gets old and I ain't pretty!"

I said "baby, what do you mean
You're a bonafide amazon dream
Spend all my money
Let me love you honey
I wanna' to treat you like a queen

She said "listen boy, you got another thing comin'
I'll do it myself 'cause I'm a full grow woman
so, watch your mouth and save your pennies
Honey gets old and I ain't pretty!"



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 Posted: Mon Aug 10th, 2020 05:02 am
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MASempine
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Seems like you need a honey early on to make honey gets old appropriate



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 Posted: Mon Aug 10th, 2020 09:43 pm
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Andrea
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I like it. This is so funny. I am not sure how much I like the last verse, but the others work for me. Needs some more work, but I think it has promise.

One these lines:
So I put on a smile, sucked in my gut >>- love this!!
Took out my wallet and said "take what you want" >>- 'take what you want' doesn't work for me. maybe more like, let me show you what I got



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 12:25 am
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JAPOV
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MASempine wrote:
Seems like you need a honey early on to make honey gets old appropriate

you're the second to say that... I'm not sure I agree. I think people get it lol. Honestly, I'm more concerned about tense in the first verse...



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 12:33 am
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JAPOV
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Andrea wrote:
I like it. This is so funny. I am not sure how much I like the last verse, but the others work for me. Needs some more work, but I think it has promise.

One these lines:
So I put on a smile, sucked in my gut >>- love this!!
Took out my wallet and said "take what you want" >>- 'take what you want' doesn't work for me. maybe more like, let me show you what I got


gut/got... I see what you're doing there. :cool:



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 10:09 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Pony keg and charcoal, sounds like a good woman to me. Overall a decent feel to it. The only part I didn’t care for was the Amazon dream.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 11:20 pm
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JAPOV
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M.P. Dudash wrote:
Pony keg and charcoal, sounds like a good woman to me. Overall a decent feel to it. The only part I didn’t care for was the Amazon dream.

Oh, come on man! Remember Lynda Carter? Wonder Woman?:Excited:



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 Posted: Fri Aug 14th, 2020 01:49 am
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jdtaper
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This song sounds like it has a melody for current modern Country radio, but also has a latter half 90's (1990-95) feel. There a lof singers today who could record this! Good job! 👍



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