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My Song
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 Posted: Thu Aug 6th, 2020 05:30 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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She’s a tequila sunrise
In the darkest of nights
A glass of fine wine and champagne
But I can’t find words
To describe the hurt
Of loving and wanting this way

She’s every word of my song
Every high, every low
But don’t get me wrong
She’s my fantasy wrapped in a dream
She’s every word of my song

When she’s around
Heaven abounds
Yet she also drags me through hell
It’s a blessing and curse
Living these words
And she’s every word of my song

She’s every word of my song
Every high, every low
But don’t get me wrong
She’s my fantasy wrapped in a dream
She’s every word of my song

We both agree what each of us mean
To the other, yet here we are...
If I’m breathing you’ll see
A smile while I grieve
Cause she’s every word of my song

She’s every word of my song
Every high, every low
But don’t get me wrong
She’s my fantasy wrapped in a dream
She’s every word of my song

Yes we both agree there’s a secret we keep
She’s every word of my song

Copyright © Michael P. Dudash 8/6/20



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 Posted: Sat Aug 8th, 2020 09:47 am
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RainyDayMan
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Another good one Mike.

The references to tequila sunrise, wine and champagne early in the song make me think the "she" in this is alcohol, is that right? But I like that it can equally apply to a different sort of relationship.

I particularly like the start of the chorus:
She’s every word of my song
Every high, every low


Re the rhyming scheme, it looks like is starts
A,A,B,C,C,B
then at v2 you substitute the last line with:
And she’s every word of my song
or maybe v1 is just co-incidental?
You might try running with the that scheme and see how that pans out.

But overall I like it, and looks like it should fit to music quite easily.



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 Posted: Sat Aug 8th, 2020 02:47 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks for looking Owen. V1 was meant to signify that she is everything he loves. I just thought tequila sunrise added a different twist than just saying sunshine etc. I knew the scheme changed but as I read back over I can see it needs some work. Many times when I first write I think they work then realize I need to sit on them a few days and go back.



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 Posted: Mon Aug 10th, 2020 05:27 pm
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cmaja
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Hey, Mike... This moves along pretty smooth; nice chorus! I can almost hear the music. Think it make a fine country song. Good job!

Charles



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 Posted: Mon Aug 10th, 2020 10:39 pm
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Andrea
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Hi Mike, I like the dichotomy in the lyrics. There isn't much "show", but the feeling come through. RDM has a good point about the rhyme scheme. It feels that if you want to change making V1 end the same would be the way to go.

I might suggest keeping with the songwriting theme for the chorus.

She’s every word of my song
Every high, every low
But don’t get me wrong
She’s my fantasy wrapped in a dream - this doesn't fit
She’s every word of my song

maybe instead (or something along these lines):
she's every bar that I play
or
she's my bridge and refrain
or
she's every note that I sing



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 10:13 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks for looking Andrea. I do think there is room for some revisions if time allows. Gonna have to get the fantasy dream line changed, thanks. I’ve been writing pretty regularly so I’m moving on to get as much done as possible before the next rut hits.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 11th, 2020 11:59 pm
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JAPOV
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Nice Concept!:cool:

Last edited on Wed Aug 12th, 2020 12:07 am by JAPOV



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 Posted: Wed Aug 12th, 2020 01:09 am
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RainbowKeeper
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I do like the chorus but the dream line doesn’t fit, even if I like the line, it just doesn’t fit in here.
Personally the „she is ...of my song“- line shows up a little bit to often.
To me it’s to much repetition.
I like your A‘ a lot, even if it seems as if it was written by a hopeless alcoholic lol.
You lose me a bit on here:

„We both agree what each of us mean
To the other, yet here we are...
If I’m breathing you’ll see
A smile while I grieve
Cause she’s every word of my song“
...I mean, you talk about „her/she“ followed by talking about „we/each other“, that’s fine with me, too. But then it seems as if you are pointing out to the listener by saying „you‘ll see“ followed once again by „she is...“.
Maybe I’m the only one but it confuses me a little cause of the change in the perspective.
That’s all folks
RK



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 Posted: Fri Aug 14th, 2020 01:44 am
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jdtaper
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Another Classic Country song about drinkin' and heartache! Love it! :)



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