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Lost Without You
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Thu Jul 30th, 2020 07:25 am
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findmykeys
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https://soundcloud.com/trever-forever/lost-without-you?ref=clipboard


And it's sinking in

I'm lost without you

From here I start again 

From nought without you 

Losing where I'd win

Begin.

To learn to live again 

When it's not about you 


Wake it feels the same

Can I Just have one day

Here we go again 

The pain.

Come show me a way

To get around you


And now it's all so clear

I'm lost without you 

Face my greatest fear

A life without you-

Made yourself disappear 

Up there

But wait I'm staying here

Lost without you 


(C) 2020

My first brand new demo here in a while and first ukulele piece.

Very rough and basic but keen to hear any thoughts. I'm inclined to make the first verse more sparse and the last one more layered, perhaps with a key change and strings.

Last edited on Thu Jul 30th, 2020 07:34 am by findmykeys

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 Posted: Thu Jul 30th, 2020 08:37 am
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RainyDayMan
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Great to have the music to go with the lyric, so we can hear how it's meant to sound!

Not sure about the ukulele here. I think it might sound better with a slightly harder sound, so bass, elec guitar.

You might try without the first word here to smooth things out:
From here I start again > Here I start again

Looking at just the lyric it looks a little short, but it's already at 2:20. If you added an instrumental break in there too, it would go well and would bring it towards 3 minutes, so no probs there.

I like the vibe. Enjoyed the listen.



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 Posted: Thu Jul 30th, 2020 03:30 pm
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ChrisPrice
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This has the makings of a really good song. The arrangement needs work though I do like the sparseness of it. I agree with RDM bout the uke. I can almost imagine an electric piano sound. I think the vocals sound a bit unsure in places but I can tell what you're aiming for here. I enjoyed this.:)

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 Posted: Thu Jul 30th, 2020 05:14 pm
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JAPOV
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Yep! Your intention is easily recognizable here! Good structure and great start! My earliest recordings definitely sounded worse lol... I would highly recommend an Apple Computer for you! Garage Band is a very versatile tool for beginners :)



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 04:51 am
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findmykeys
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Thanks yes the vocal's just a first stab from someone who doesn't like singing lol.

Interesting suggestions on instruments. I'll try some options. As you can probably infer it was written noodling along a uke and I like how its perky tone adds to the battle between hope and despair that the song's about.

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