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Beyond The Y
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Fri Jul 24th, 2020 08:10 am
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cmaja
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Wrote this last year. I was thinking about some choices I’ve made, some in an instance, that changed my entire life. And wonder how it woulda went if I made the other choice. CMA

Beyond The Y

Verse 1:
I have noticed oftentimes
How each street has its lanes
Some are wide, quick to pass
Some are steep, hard to climb
It the forks that give me pain
East or west, I simply ask

Chorus:
Flip a coin and hope I’m right
I wish I had the foresight
Of what lies beyond the Y
Which way should I try

Verse 2:
I have travelled o’er this land
And search to find straight paths
But backtracks and dead ends
Are routes I never plan
I retrace steps, do the math
North or south, that all depends

Chorus:
Flip a coin and hope I’m right
I wish I had the foresight
Of what lies beyond the Y
Which way should I try

(Instrumental break)

Verse 3:
Little do I move around
Nor search for roads I’ve missed
I just park in my chair
And sometimes go uptown
Checked my sojourns off the list
Either path, coin’s in the air

Coda:
Land the coin without foresight
For life and death are as one
Two roads I tread beyond the Y
And neither one can be shunned

© 2019 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Fri Jul 31st, 2020 03:02 am by cmaja



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 Posted: Sat Jul 25th, 2020 07:06 am
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RainyDayMan
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I like the gentle flow of the verses and the rhyming scheme you are using there.

The chorus feels a little light emotionally. I think it might resonate more if there was a little more angst associated with the choices. In your introductory comments you said you were thinking of life changing choices, and that's more the direction I would suggest you lean. The "toss a coin" phrase makes it feel somewhat arbitrary and less meaningful.

I like the last verse and coda, how our final path is ordained for us. Seems a good way to end the song.



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 Posted: Sun Jul 26th, 2020 09:37 pm
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Andrea
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Hi Charles, I am quite liking this. I can hear it sing out as I read.

I might agree with RDM about flipping the coin in the Chorus. Maybe it could be Can't flip a coin and hope it's right?

I like V3, but for me it is a 180 too fast. I would like something to lead me to the change of heart. Another verse, a bridge, or maybe an instrumental break could be enough.

I do like the coda. Something popped in my head as I am writing - not sure it is any better, but I will include it for your thoughts :

Land the coin without foresight:
Let the coin fall where it may



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 Posted: Mon Jul 27th, 2020 02:35 am
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
I like the gentle flow of the verses and the rhyming scheme you are using there.

The chorus feels a little light emotionally. I think it might resonate more if there was a little more angst associated with the choices. In your introductory comments you said you were thinking of life changing choices, and that's more the direction I would suggest you lean. The "toss a coin" phrase makes it feel somewhat arbitrary and less meaningful.

I like the last verse and coda, how our final path is ordained for us. Seems a good way to end the song.


Thanks RD Man for you review and suggestion. The chorus reflects the reality I was faced with a number of times —where I had to make a decision in a moment that was no more than a flip of a coin and my life would have been extremely different if I took the other path. Example: In the Army I was present with the choice of being stationed at Panama or Okinawa. I chose Okinawa and ended up in the Vietnam War. There wasn’t any angst. It was a simple unemotional choice I made not knowing what the future held. Totally arbitrary. I’ll probably make at least one more.

Charles



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 03:17 am
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cmaja
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Andrea wrote:
Hi Charles, I am quite liking this. I can hear it sing out as I read.

I might agree with RDM about flipping the coin in the Chorus. Maybe it could be Can't flip a coin and hope it's right?

I like V3, but for me it is a 180 too fast. I would like something to lead me to the change of heart. Another verse, a bridge, or maybe an instrumental break could be enough.

I do like the coda. Something popped in my head as I am writing - not sure it is any better, but I will include it for your thoughts :

Land the coin without foresight:
Let the coin fall where it may


Thanks, Andrea... Your comments and suggestions mean a lot. Read the answer about the coin flip I wrote to RD Man.

For Verse 3, I feel you right about how it comes on kinda abruptly. I placed a instrumental break before it.

Second line of the coda is critical. It the choice I truly don’t have but accept, since I find either road adventurous. Can’t change it.

Charles



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 Posted: Sat Aug 1st, 2020 05:35 pm
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Kayla813
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I like this one,

the question that lies ahead of us is a mystery,

I like the questioning of the unknown,

great job with these lyrics,

relatable and enjoyable

=)



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 Posted: Sat Aug 1st, 2020 07:06 pm
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cmaja
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Thanks, Kayla... I feel the same. I love the mysterious, the unknown and jump into them like ducks in a dam. I’m really appreciate your approvals. Cheers,

Charles

Last edited on Sat Aug 1st, 2020 07:07 pm by cmaja



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 Posted: Sat Aug 1st, 2020 11:02 pm
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MASempine
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On a serious note huh?

Good job. Id spell It Wye. I was thinking some kind of YMCA takeoff

Say it the way you feel it. It’s your life your talking about. Not ours



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 Posted: Sun Aug 2nd, 2020 12:46 am
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cmaja
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MASempine wrote:
On a serious note huh?

Good job. Id spell It Wye. I was thinking some kind of YMCA takeoff

Say it the way you feel it. It’s your life your talking about. Not ours


Yo, MAS... I’m sure there’s some other folks out there that gotta make snap decisions. Did it, saw it, a lot in the military. Some saved me and others from certain death.

YMCA? I’d like to hear that one! Thanks for your input and approval.

Charles



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