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Never Said
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2020 07:43 am
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findmykeys
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https://soundcloud.com/trever-forever/never-said-3?ref=clipboard

I try to begin
But my wits at an end
As I try to believe on
All the words we never said

Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
ALL THOSE WORDS WE NEVER SAID

I'm tied to these feelings
The punch line to my own joke
As I try to believe it
Here's the speech that I just wrote

Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
Never Said
ALL THOSE WORDS WE NEVER SAID

Listen now I'm not asking
Here goes for what it's worth
There's no point in being romantic
I'M TALKING TO A PILE OF DIRT
Said I tried to begin but
Your life has had its end
So I'll try to believe in...

C) 2016, updated 2020

Another one from the past that I've developed the arrangement for. Still primarily a piano groove. Probably could use some bass still but hopefully the drums and guitar works.

Last edited on Sun Jul 26th, 2020 08:57 am by findmykeys

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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2020 09:46 am
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findmykeys
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After posting I decided it needed bass so did a one take job and updated the link above lol

Last edited on Mon Jul 20th, 2020 09:48 am by findmykeys

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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2020 09:57 am
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RainyDayMan
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Bass feels right for this song. Good call there.

Where the timing for the different parts aligns, it really starts to feel tight. If you have the time, it would be worth working on the whole to really nail it down. Depending on the DAW you use, you may not need to re-record it, you may be able to stretch, or simply cut and move the notes around to fit. Whenever you can, lay down the drums/percussion first, as that becomes a solid framework you can build on. Of course you never write the song starting with drums, but you can build up a track that way after the song is written.

Not sure how you are recording the vocals, but they are a bit fuzzy. As you move to a richer soundscape it becomes harder to hear them clearly amongst everything else, so that might be another thing to look at going forwards.



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 Posted: Tue Jul 21st, 2020 12:25 am
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moptop
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I immediately think of "The Black Keys" with the vocals processed the way they are. It has that feel to it. I like the way it seems to get more distorted farther into the track.
The timing in some spots would be my only issue with it.

Well done, it has a good vibe to it.

Thanks for sharing.



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 Posted: Tue Jul 21st, 2020 03:24 am
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popitup
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Hello findmykeys . . . I've had a listen, and myself I can't get past that it's hard to listen to because of the distortion (fuzzy) sound of the recording . . . but hey, maybe that's what you're going for, a tone painting of a bad or distorted relationship, so the listener gets a sense of it ? Myself, I would just use some painful diminished and less distorted chords, but to each their own.

The idea of the song and the lyrics are good here, good theatrical vocal performance . . . but again, I'm just not sure if you're really bad at recording, or an intentional distortion to make a point. It seems to be the only song on your soundcloud channel, so it's hard to hear if your other stuff is similar ?



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 Posted: Tue Jul 21st, 2020 05:04 am
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findmykeys
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Great feedback thanks.


The bass was just a quick phone recording
So it's not well recorded or played for that matter;-) I'll be laying down another take of that when I've thought through the dynamics more.

The vocal effects are intentional as I thought it added more drama. I'm pretty effects happy but do note that it makes the listening experience more variable.

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 Posted: Thu Jul 23rd, 2020 03:07 pm
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ASecretMeaning
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I really like the haunted sound of the piano at the start - don't know if this is intentional, but it really works, particularly with the fuzzy vocals.

As others have said, at times, the fuzz on the vocal I think is a bit too much in so much that you can't hear what is being said. But as a general sound, it works.

As RainyDayMan said, the timing seems a little too loose in some places. His advice of putting down some drums first is exactly what I have learned to do - I always start of with a simple click or a bass drum just to focus my timing on, and then re-write the drum line afterwards. Though sometimes, slipping the timing can work really well. A different style of music I know, but Eric Prydz did this brilliantly with record called 'Opus' where it builds up with each track seemingly out of time with the other until it all syncs up again and the whole record comes alive 3:44 into the song.

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 Posted: Mon Jul 27th, 2020 08:48 pm
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findmykeys
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Thanks for the comments on production/timing.



I redid the bass as that was the main culprit. I'll re-record it one day with the drums first. They're live with some midi touch ups but it's only the verses that I got round to getting exactly as I wanted.

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 Posted: Thu Jul 30th, 2020 06:07 pm
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JAPOV
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Try playing your keyboard intro on bass :)



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