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Living Like A Country Star
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Jul 12th, 2020 03:08 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Popped my first top at noon, when I rolled out of bed
Hair of the dog for my pounding head
You’d think I’d be ashamed but it’s just the life I live

Stumbled in to take me a leak
Scribbled in red lipstick next to me
A note on my mirror thanking me again for last night

I’m living like a country star
Except for the fame
And I can’t play a guitar
The bars, my heart
My chauffeur’s a phone call away...

You could say I’m not rolling in dough
My boots aren’t Dan Post and the soles got a hole
My words, not my songs, always get me where I go....

Maybe it’s time that I come to grips
With the fact I’m not sexy I don’t have any hits
And crystal to me will always be a mason jar

I’m living like a country star
Except for the fame
And I can’t play a guitar
The bars, my heart
My chauffeur’s a phone call away... (hello taxi?)

You could say I’m not rolling in dough
My boots aren’t Dan Post and the soles got a hole
My words not my songs always get me where I go

I’m just a country star who’s always putting on a show

Copyright © Michael P.Dudash 7/12/2020



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 Posted: Sun Jul 12th, 2020 03:34 pm
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cmaja
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This is cool, Mike... I could hear the music right away as I was reading it. I’d make a great country hit... if only!

Charles



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 Posted: Sun Jul 12th, 2020 05:36 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks Charles



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 Posted: Mon Jul 13th, 2020 12:17 am
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MASempine
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I like it too



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 Posted: Sun Jul 19th, 2020 02:28 am
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Tekboy
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Lots of good going on here. There *is* a part that I find a bit awkward, but maybe it is just me. "The bars, my heart, my chauffeur...". I'm having a difficult time thinking smoothly as it goes by.
Really good.



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 Posted: Sun Jul 19th, 2020 03:03 am
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popitup
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Hi There . . . I really like the way this lyric starts, really starts telling a story, paints a good picture of what it will be about.

For the chorus, a possible suggestion would be for the line "And I can't play a guitar" . . . what about "Cannot sing or play guitar" ?

I also agree with Tekboy's comment about the bars, my heart, chauffeur part . . . the idea is good, but think it needs to be reworded for a singer to be able to sing it smoothly.

Hoping this is helpful, I really think it's a great lyrical concept / idea for a song !

Last edited on Sun Jul 19th, 2020 11:33 pm by popitup



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 Posted: Sun Jul 19th, 2020 11:11 pm
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RainyDayMan
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I really like those first 3 lines of the chorus:
I’m living like a country star
Except for the fame
And I can’t play a guitar

that's rock solid.

Less sure about the next 2.
"The bars, my heart" sounds good even though it's a fragment and the meaning isn't totally clear, so I'd keep that.

I have trouble with the flow of the chauffeur line, though there's a nice self-deprecating humour to it.
Of course I can't hear how it sounds to you!
Maybe insert something else into the chorus for flow?
I’m living like a country star
Except for the fame
And I can’t play a guitar
The bars, my heart
No one knows my name
My chauffeur’s a phone call away...


I'm imagining this one in a Johnny Cash raspy kind of voice.



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 Posted: Wed Jul 29th, 2020 01:25 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks for all the comments. Looks like it may need some revisions. The my chauffeur is meant to mean a cab. Back to the drawing board at some point. I’ll let it sit for a while then revisit. Thanks all.



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