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 Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2020 02:55 am
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Andrea
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Thank you to those who helped me in the works in progress section. I am still working on this, but hope it is ready for final feedback. Don't hold back - if something doesn't work, let me know. I am up for all ideas :)

Boy, there is something about you
That has my heart running wild
Maybe I should tame it
Before I lose all control
Boy, there is something about you
You have a crazy hold on me
You're sending me mixed signals
My head is gonna roll

You are the sun in the sky
Tears in my eyes
You know you have me twisted

You're my security vault
San Andreas Fault
You know you have me twisted

You are my breath of fresh air
Recurring nightmare
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
My days are my nights
Wrongs feel like rights
How I wish you never existed
My insides are out
All my beliefs are now doubts
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

Guitar solo

Boy, there is something about you
That has my heart running wild
Maybe I should tame it
Before I lose all control
Boy, there is something about you
You have a crazy hold on me
You're sending me mixed signals
My head is gonna roll

You are the bird in the cage
Rockstar on stage
You know you have me twisted

You are my warm sandy beach
Blood sucking leech
You know you have me twisted

You are my life saving prayer
Electric chair
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
My days are my nights
Wrongs feel like rights
How I wish you never existed
My insides are out
All my beliefs are now doubts
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

You are the sun in the sky
Tears in my eyes
I'll love till the end of time

©Andrea Brennan 2020

Last edited on Sun Aug 30th, 2020 11:24 pm by Andrea



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 12:21 am
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RainyDayMan
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That's shaped up nicely! I can't imagine how it sounds, but I hope I get to find out at some point.

I particularly like your ending:
I'll love till the end of time
that feels a great way to end it.



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 03:50 pm
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Andrea
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Thank RDM. I have ideas for some parts of the vocals. I will work the music out later (hopefully).



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:15 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Heya Miss Andrea,

I do like the idea of the guitar solo and if it comes to the lyrics I love your ending:

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
My days are my nights
Wrongs feel like rights
How I wish you never existed
My insides are out
All my beliefs are now doubts
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

Damn it boy, you have me twisted
You know you have me twisted

You are the sun in the sky
Tears in my eyes
I'll love till the end of time
...
Very well done!
I had a bit of melody in my head, like a Staccato-mix. But
I’m waiting for the tunes you are going to come up with!

Yours
RK



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:19 pm
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Andrea
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Hi RK, Thank you for the positive review. I will do some work on a melody this week. I Have parts in mind, but not all of it. Maybe I'll hit you for your ideas after I give it a try on my own first? :)



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:23 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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If cause you can ask me. But first of all your song your ideas....give it a try. I’d be glad if you come up with a full musical-coat on your own!
But if so....I wanna hear it 😉

Wth where does this „if“ came from?? „Of cause....“ that’s what I wanted to type lol.
Im just screwed today. And I remember having a good idea for a song right before I fell asleep last night....and now it’s gone....it drives me MAD! 😢

Last edited on Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:25 pm by RainbowKeeper



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:30 pm
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Andrea
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If I manage to put something together, I'll send it to you. If I fail, I 'llsend a help message instead :)

Don't forget that pad and pen before bed. Maybe tonight that idea will return. I hope so.



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:36 pm
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cmaja
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This came out great, Andrea... I love it!! It’d make a solid metal song. Keep rockin’!

Charles



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:36 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Lol yeah I have pen and paper right here, but you know if the meds finally kick in...at 3 or 4 am....I am powerless...then it’s really hard to move a single finger. Like a complete break down. But the mind is the last thing that stops working....and so I’m unable to hold on to these thoughts and ideas...
But well I hope I can remember later on. If not, it is for a reason.

Ty I’m really very interested in what you are doing and testing in the musical way. You have a great energy and a strong will, I want to hear that „in music“. And if I can help I’ll help...if not then not.
You kinda know how I work by now. 😉



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:42 pm
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Andrea
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cmaja wrote:
This came out great, Andrea... I love it!! It’d make a solid metal song. Keep rockin’!

Charles


Thank you Charles. Metal or rock. Gotta make that music, or find it :)



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 Posted: Sun Jul 5th, 2020 06:47 pm
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Andrea
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RK, Lately I have been working on some things with my son. He plays guitar and I try to do the vocal melodies. It is not an easy task working together. His guitar is in the shop, so we are on hold for now. Not sure it will turn out how I hoped, or at all. Time will tell.

I have been there with the forgetting thing too. Sometimes I am too tired to want to turn the light on and write. I try to rehearse it in my head to remember, but it doesn't always work :(



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 01:19 am
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MASempine
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I think it’s special. Ready to plug in my electric chair and rock the night away



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 02:08 am
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Andrea
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MASempine wrote:
I think it’s special. Ready to plug in my electric chair and rock the night away

:laugh:laugh Thanks



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 02:31 am
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JAPOV
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This is good! Nice simple repetitive structure too... Do you have a rough draft?



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 03:45 am
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Andrea
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JAPOV wrote:
This is good! Nice simple repetitive structure too... Do you have a rough draft?

Not sure what you mean by rough draft? I do have a vocal melody worked for this if that is what you mean.



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 03:45 am
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Andrea
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JAPOV wrote:
This is good! Nice simple repetitive structure too... Do you have a rough draft?

Not sure what you mean by rough draft? I do have a vocal melody worked for this if that is what you mean.



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 07:17 pm
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JAPOV
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Perhaps you should invest in a little Casio keyboard. Something to just record simple rhythm pattern and chord progression with and your son can play along :cool:



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 Posted: Fri Jul 31st, 2020 07:50 pm
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Andrea
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Hi JAPOV, we do have an electronic keyboard. My son does not always work on my lyrics with me. We started something with this one, so who knows. Right now the top priority is Beautiful People Can Do Ugly Things. Hoping to have something new on that one today.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 4th, 2020 01:04 pm
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Nothingless
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beautiful lyrics, really emotional thanks to share

the end is nice and leaves an ambiguity in my views

I'll love till the end of time

Do you mean you'll love in general terms?
You'll love the tears and the sun of the previous line?
You'll love that boy?

Just to satisfy my curiosity, I don't mean you have to change it, I think enigmatic verses are part of songs as a form of poetry.

Last edited on Tue Aug 4th, 2020 01:06 pm by Nothingless



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 Posted: Thu Aug 6th, 2020 12:13 am
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Andrea
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Nothingless wrote:
beautiful lyrics, really emotional thanks to share

the end is nice and leaves an ambiguity in my views

I'll love till the end of time

Do you mean you'll love in general terms?
You'll love the tears and the sun of the previous line?
You'll love that boy?

Just to satisfy my curiosity, I don't mean you have to change it, I think enigmatic verses are part of songs as a form of poetry.


Thank you for reading and your feedback. You are asking me to reveal my secret here. I actually left out a word by mistake (I'll love YOU till the end of time), but the feedback led me to believe it is better as written. I think I like it better this way too :)



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