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| Posted: Tue May 26th, 2020 08:45 pm |
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NathanJB
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I WILL WORSHIP
I
Nothing can separate me
From your love and your grace
You always stay the same
Even when I'm led astray
Nothin that I can say
Or do will ever erase
The words that you say
And the promises you make
Pre-Chorus
You create things out of nothing
There's no situation you can't change
I'll sing your praises forever
To the world your truth I will proclaim
Chorus
No matter how I feel I will worship you
When healthy or when sick I will worship you
Beyond all of my sins I will worship you
Because you favored me I will worship you
II
Your love remains the same
and your years will never end
My debts you took away
When for love you left your throne
You hear us when we pray
You are near, and you don't delay
I find the safest place
When I call on your name
Pre-Chorus
You create things out of nothing
There's no situation you can't change
I'll sing your praises forever
To the world your truth I will proclaim
Chorus
No matter how I feel I will worship you
When healthy or when sick I will worship you
Beyond all of my sins I will worship you
Because you favored me I will worship you
Coda
Your praises
I'll sing
Your name
I will lift forever
Last edited on Mon Jun 8th, 2020 01:16 pm by NathanJB
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Tue May 26th, 2020 08:51 pm |
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NathanJB
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Please Excuse the Title I made a mistake. The real Title is "I will worship". Thanks in Advance for your feedback!
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Wed May 27th, 2020 01:08 am |
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RainbowKeeper
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Heya,
I have to say, I like it. The words are simple fit perfectly.
I like the style.
I also like these „crossover lines“, this doesn’t always work, but here it’s all good.
The only little thing that I would change is:
No matter how I feel I will worship you
When healthy or when ill I will worship you. << ...or when sick
Beyond all of my sins I will worship you
Because you favored me I will worship you
I’d do that, because there is too much „L“- Sound in it. Sick wouldn’t change the meaning and it would give the whole thing a stronger character if it comes to the phonemic structure. This way the singer can stress the word. Like a spoken Fermate.
Keep on writing the good stuff
RK
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Wed May 27th, 2020 04:41 am |
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RainyDayMan
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[Title edited]
I like this Nathan! Good structure to it, and it flows naturally.
Chorus feels like the strongest part, and that's how it should be.
You might consider:
Forever your praises I'll sing > I'll sing your praise forever
depending on how the music goes at that point.
As an aside, the part you've labelled as a Bridge seems more like a Coda. A coda is an ending separate to what has come before. A Bridge literally joins two parts of the song, so happens somewhere in the middle, usually with a different melody to make it stand out.
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| Posted: Wed May 27th, 2020 07:40 am |
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cmaja
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Hi, Nathanael... This is good, very good! I feel the more you can make a song or lyric sound like a prayer the more beautiful it is. And this is an example of what I’m saying. I felt good just reading it! Thank you,
Charles
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| Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2020 01:17 am |
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NathanJB
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Thank you so much RK, I really like the new way that it sounds. When healthy or when sick. Communicates the message in a simpler and effective way. Great observation.
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2020 01:23 am |
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NathanJB
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Hi RainyDayMan!
I like your suggestion because I think "I'll sing your praise forever" flows better in the melody. Thank You very much.
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2020 01:48 am |
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NathanJB
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Hi Chales and Thank you for your compliment. I was moved and brought to tears just reading this. I will keep posting.
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2020 04:21 pm |
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cmaja
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Hey Nathanael, your last stanza is a coda. To be a bridge you need two stanzas before and aft. Minor point...
Charles
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NathanJB
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cmaja wrote: Hey Nathanael, your last stanza is a coda. To be a bridge you need two stanzas before and aft. Minor point...
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Nathanael J. B.
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Motorist Sketchbook
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Good job.
Lots of great comments already left for you.
I found a typographic/grammatical error in the last line of verse one.
"Nothing can separate me
From your love and your grace
You always stay the same
Even when I'm lead astray"
I think the word "lead" should be "led".
- Sketch
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https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
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NathanJB
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Motorist Sketchbook wrote: Good job.
Lots of great comments already left for you.
I found a typographic/grammatical error in the last line of verse one.
"Nothing can separate me
From your love and your grace
You always stay the same
Even when I'm lead astray"
I think the word "lead" should be "led".
- Sketch
Thank you So Much. Cant wait to upload a new one.
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Nathanael J. B.
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| Posted: Sun Jun 14th, 2020 08:15 pm |
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Andrea
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This is beautiful. It gives me a happy safe feeling when I read it. Great job.
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Andrea
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| Posted: Tue Jul 14th, 2020 01:03 am |
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MASempine
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Last line of chorus is not how we talk.
Something like
As your truth washes me like the rain
Would sing better
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What God cannot do is an empty list {...}
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