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Thief of Love
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat May 23rd, 2020 05:14 am
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The Big Gundown
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Ok, now I'm getting closer to what I hear in my head. I like the lyrics and concept. Again with a rhythm track it might have a better momentum but this what I have so far.
A rainstorm actually happened as I was recording the vocals so that's real rain at the end. I recorded more of the rain and added it to the beginning.

https://soundcloud.com/ghost-rider-214887051/thief-of-love/s-nEAEon3MRN7

Thief of Love

Verse 1

I’m a thief of love waiting to be caught
Wanted by the law for the lives I‘ve cursed
Devil’s got my soul, others pay the cost
The gallows were ready for this sorry heart

Chorus:
Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

Verse 2

They got me in the city of Albuquerque
I faced the judge and he said son listen to me
We’re going to teach you a hard lesson now
We’re going to brand a heart on your sorry brow

Chorus:
Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

Verse 3

I live in the shadows off the busy streets
I’m a pariah, a man of deceit
The stigma of love the ugly aftermath
Even black cats won’t cross my sorry path

Chorus:
Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

Branded as a thief
Branded as a thief
Thief of Love

© 2020 RJ Pollard

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 Posted: Sat May 23rd, 2020 10:42 am
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RainyDayMan
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I like this one TBG, I can hear the potential in it.

I think it needs some lead guitar licks to come to life, but it's not hard to imagine them there.

I'd like to hear more variation in the vocal melody too, bring some more expression to it. A few higher notes, a few longer notes. But again, I can already imagine how that might sound based on what you've already got. So your recording is doing its job.

I like that chorus. You might consider trying something other than "Branded as a thief" the second time around, but it has to end on "Thief of Love" the way you've got it.

Good stuff.



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 Posted: Sat May 23rd, 2020 02:51 pm
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moptop
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TBG, this does have a lot of potential as RDM said. I can see this easily being worked up to a full production.

Your mix on this if very clean and clear but there are some spots, the chorus in particular, where the vocal was hard to hear over the guitar.

Great job! Thanks for sharing.



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 Posted: Sat May 23rd, 2020 05:38 pm
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ttognaci
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Hey there TBG............sounds like you are having a bit of fun. A good first draft.....Keep with it!!
-Tom

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 Posted: Sun May 24th, 2020 06:23 am
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The Big Gundown
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Hey guys, I appreciate the comments. I'm so happy you can see the potential. Cheers!

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 Posted: Fri May 29th, 2020 01:25 am
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JAPOV
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Listening to you is so frustrating! Lol...

How exactly are you recording? What kind of computer do you have? YOU NEED DRUMS!!



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 Posted: Fri May 29th, 2020 04:41 am
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The Big Gundown
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Haha...I'm basically recording live into a phone using two amps for guitar and vocal. That one I did with a backing track. Don't get frustrated because to me if they almost work without drums etc. then they are worthy songs. This one in particular I know what I want for the drum sound. I'm more worried about the structure, my lyrics, getting a good hook and riff. I am just a beginner so I'm not rushing it too fast. I want to get feedback to know if I'm on the right track. Cheers.

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