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Still Broken-Hearted
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 Posted: Tue May 19th, 2020 07:18 am
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cmaja
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Still Broken-Hearted

Verse 1:
I should of done exactly what is right
Sometimes my heart sings a different tune
I pray you return to me tonight
Though you need some proof, not just assume
But I’m, despite all that, still broken-hearted

Chorus:
But friends say someday my heart’ll mend
Though it seems this hurt just never ends
That I feel since the day we parted
But I am, please understand, still broken-hearted

Verse 2:
I’ve lost sight of exactly what is true
Sometimes my mind doesn’t see the light
You know your return is overdue
Though you know how feelings are contrite
But I’m, despite all that, still broken-hearted

Chorus:
But friends say someday my heart’ll mend
Though it seems this hurt just never ends
That I feel since the day we parted
But I am, please understand, still broken-hearted

Bridge:
I pray that I am forgiven
And we give love another start
I’ll do as you ask, I’ll give in
And our love’ll stay and never part, but

Chorus:
But friends say someday my heart’ll mend
Though it seems this hurt just never ends
That I feel since the day we parted
But I am, please understand, still broken-hearted

Post Chorus:
I’m, I hope you know, still broken-hearted
Still broken-hearted

© 2020 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Tue May 19th, 2020 10:44 pm by cmaja



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 Posted: Tue May 19th, 2020 08:08 am
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RainyDayMan
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I can certainly imagine this in a jazz style.

I like the lyric, and especially the chorus.

You have an option to swap your key line:
But I’m, despite all that, still broken-hearted >
But still, despite all that, I'm broken-hearted
nothing wrong how it is, just depends on how you want it to sing.

In the bridge "I’ll do what you say" feels a little passive-aggressive, maybe "I’ll do as you ask" to soften it?

Good write.



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 Posted: Tue May 19th, 2020 10:50 pm
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
I can certainly imagine this in a jazz style.

I like the lyric, and especially the chorus.

You have an option to swap your key line:
But I’m, despite all that, still broken-hearted >
But still, despite all that, I'm broken-hearted
nothing wrong how it is, just depends on how you want it to sing.

In the bridge "I’ll do what you say" feels a little passive-aggressive, maybe "I’ll do as you ask" to soften it?

Good write.


Thanks, RD Man for the review and suggestions. I left ‘still’ where it is since it’s in the title. But I changed the third line of the bridge. That works much better. Always appreciate your input.

Charles



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 Posted: Mon May 25th, 2020 11:46 pm
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NathanJB
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This is a very beautiful song. I think listeners will feel your emotion from the first four lines.

Great Job



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 Posted: Tue May 26th, 2020 03:50 am
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cmaja
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Thanks, Nathanael... I wrote this a few months ago, but didn’t think it was ready for prime time. Sometimes I’m my worst critic. Glad you like it.

Charles



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