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Beyond
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Apr 26th, 2020 05:13 pm
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1st Post
RainbowKeeper
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Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 453
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I am a: Singer/Songwriter
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Feel free to ask, comment and give feedback.

Ty
RK

Beyond

Why is it, that you still matter? A‘
Why do I still recall that time?
Why can’t I turn around and leave?
My soul can’t get rid of this grime
My mind still tries to understand
But I wish I could let you be
And all memories should vanish
Make it much easier for me

Beyond my powers. B
Beyond my strength
How can I learn to let you go?
Beyond my powers
Beyond my strength
Even lost my urge for revenge
Beyond my powers
How can I just let you go?
That’s what I need to know

When I see your happy faces. A+
A thorn orders my soul to bleed
Even now I can’t make it stop
Still searching for my angers‘ seed
I’d call it unfinished business
You’d call it: sorry what’s your name?
Left behind and long forgotten
Out off the picture and the frame

Burnt my hands a hundert times. C
But I guess I’ll never learn
Burnt my hands a hundert times
Still waiting to get something in return
Burnt my hands a hundert times
But I guess I’ll never learn
That‘s my deepest concern
Waiting for the day when we all get
What we earn

My mind still tries to understand A*
Too paradox to get it clear
Can’t all memories just vanish?
And all my anger disappear?

© by Ian P.
26.04.20
for: VB



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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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 Posted: Thu May 28th, 2020 09:54 pm
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2nd Post
Andrea
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Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 1651
Favorite Artist: Queen, Tom Petty, Metallica, Kansas, Guns N' Roses
I am a: Songwriter
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Hi RK, sorry it has taken me so long to get to this. I really like this a lot. The second verse is my favorite - very clever. It is packed with images and emotions tied together.

My only suggestions would be to maybe repeat the chorus a second time. And in the chorus you say: "Even lost my urge for revenge", but I am reading a wealth of anger still exists, so maybe just 'lose my urge for revenge' - like asking to lose it?



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Andrea
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 Posted: Thu May 28th, 2020 10:05 pm
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3rd Post
RainbowKeeper
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Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 453
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
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Heya,
Ty for your feedback!
Believe it or not I didn’t even remember writing and posting this.
So give me some time to find my way „back into it“.
There is so much going on and not everything seems to be for the better 😢
Ty ty ty



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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