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Deeply
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Wed Apr 8th, 2020 05:27 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey, I tried...!
It’s a very old one and I guess you will find out who the lyrics are about.
Feel free to give feedback!
RK

Deeply

I’m listening to the radio A‘
While I’m driving down my highway
Suddenly I hear your clear voice
And I remember this sad day
I’m listening closely to your song
Knowing every word, that ain’t a lie
And more and more I’m gettin‘ sad
Raindrops on a dark and dusty sky

Well deep down there in West Virginia A+
Your little Annie won’t forget you
Still sings your Rocky Mountain High
Cause you‘ve filled up her senses, too
Whisp‘ring John, tell me what went wrong?
No more music? Nothing more to give?
You left your country roads to early
Am sure your heart wanted to live

Deeply
Like a sleepy blue ocean. B
Deeply
That’s how you touched my soul
Deeply
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You showed the world so much real emotion

I hear your voice
Thinking that this can’t be. C
I hear your voice
Memories and music
I hear your voice
Thinking that this can’t be
You‘re gone
But I hope your soul feels free

I’m listening to the radio
While I’m driving down my highway. A*
Suddenly I hear your clear voice
And I remember this sad day


© by Ian P.
20.01.08/ reworked 08.04.20
For: FPeee.../Valentine+B



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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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 Posted: Thu Apr 9th, 2020 09:01 pm
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Andrea
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Hi RK, this is a nice tribute to John Denver. Although I am not the biggest country fan, I do love his music and we listen to it often in our home.

I don't think it needs any big changes - a little tightening up might help.

Here are my suggestion to use or lose:

I’m listening to the radio A‘
While I’m driving down my highway - the highway
Suddenly I hear your clear voice
And I remember this sad day - that sad day
I’m listening closely to your song - I listen closely...
Knowing every word, that ain’t a lie - know every word - ...
And more and more I’m gettin‘ sad
Raindrops on a dark and dusty sky

Well deep down there in West Virginia A+
Your little Annie won’t forget you - Annie never will...
Still sings your Rocky Mountain High
Cause you‘ve filled up her senses, too
Whisp‘ring John, tell me what went wrong?
No more music? Nothing more to give?
You left your country roads to early - too early
Am sure your heart wanted to live



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 Posted: Thu Apr 9th, 2020 09:40 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey Andrea,

Thanx for your feedback, I look at the lines one by one in a bit.
Mum is a big John Denver fan and believe it or not she still know exactly where we ve been and what time it was and what kind of underwear she was wearing the day we got the news.
I wrote a is when I was alone at home listening to a j. Denver cd of my mothers, and somehow I just had to write it while I was listening.

RK



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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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 Posted: Sat May 9th, 2020 11:39 am
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M.P. Dudash
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Fabian, first of all welcome. I like the verses and everything except for the deeply part. I think a redo of the ocean lines there may improve it overall. Very limited on rhymes for emotion, that could be an issue for sure.



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 Posted: Sat May 9th, 2020 02:29 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Ty for your feedback.
Please call me Ian like everyone else do.



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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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 Posted: Sat Jul 11th, 2020 12:12 am
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MASempine
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I'm new too. Once I figured out John Denver was the subject and not Woody Allen, I thought it was great. I think all the verses/chorus/whatever should get an A

The deeply part is a change of pace, but is good in its own right. I wouldn't change a thing. I think John D would be proud.



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 Posted: Sat Jul 11th, 2020 12:38 am
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RainbowKeeper
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Tyvm! This means a lot!
(Why Woody Allen? 🤔😳)

RK



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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