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Joe mack
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Joined: Thu Apr 2nd, 2020
Location: Virginia USA
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The trail is rough, all uphill
Times are tough, I love you still
Remember when we danced all night?
Staying close, and it felt right?
My oh my...silver spurs
And a painted sky
Time to ride, time to fly

Wish you were here, I'm all burned out
Took a turn, but it went South
If we are stuck, then let's begin
To fix our love, and ride the wind
When...the time is nigh...
Silver spurs and a painted sky
Time to ride, time to fly

We have scars beneath the skin
Sometimes we lose, sometimes we win
Take a chance, our love is strong
We can fight, but the day is long
Can't stop now, we must fly
With silver spurs and a painted sky
Got to go, don't ask why

We need each other now and then
You need to talk, you need a friend
Grab them silver spurs
There's a painted sky
Side by side, we can fly
Time to go, don't ask why

Last edited on Fri Apr 3rd, 2020 08:39 pm by Joe mack

cmaja
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Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
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This is nice, Joe! Simple AAA structure with a coda. Slight typo: Sometimes we lose, wometimes we win. I love the line: Silver spurs and a painted sky Great country lyric! Keep it up!

Charles

RainyDayMan
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Good strong structure to your lyric. Feels tight.

I like the images, and especially "Silver spurs and a painted sky" as Charles pointed out.

I can't get a read on the emotion you're going for.

All up it feels like an image seen from a distance more than a story evolving - that's not a criticism, just a comment.

Andrea
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Hi Joe, I think you have something special here. Your hook is incredible. If you join the ideas of the first post with this new post, I think it will come together nicely. Some of these line are killers. I think if you can develop the story from verse to verse, then it will come together. The emotion is strong - keep plugging!

MASempine
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No issues from my perspective. Got several strengths that have already been mentioned. Good job. Well done.

M.P. Dudash
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Joe, agree with the others on the silver spurs painted sky line, very nice. I don’t care for word nigh. It may be just me but it reminds me of what I would hear In a Christmas song. Other than that it works.

jdtaper
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Joined: Sun Dec 25th, 2016
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Simple and heartfelt. I'm curious what style of Country you want this in
(70s-80s traditional,
90's neo traditional/contemporary,
2000's Modern,
2000's Crossover Country-Pop).


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