 |
Posted: Thu Apr 2nd, 2020 04:27 pm |
|
1st Post |
Joe mack
Member
Joined: | Thu Apr 2nd, 2020 |
Location: | Virginia USA |
Posts: | 3 |
Favorite Artist: | | I am a: | Songwriter |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
The trail is rough, all uphill
Times are tough, I love you still
Remember when we danced all night?
Staying close, and it felt right?
My oh my...silver spurs
And a painted sky
Time to ride, time to fly
Wish you were here, I'm all burned out
Took a turn, but it went South
If we are stuck, then let's begin
To fix our love, and ride the wind
When...the time is nigh...
Silver spurs and a painted sky
Time to ride, time to fly
We have scars beneath the skin
Sometimes we lose, sometimes we win
Take a chance, our love is strong
We can fight, but the day is long
Can't stop now, we must fly
With silver spurs and a painted sky
Got to go, don't ask why
We need each other now and then
You need to talk, you need a friend
Grab them silver spurs
There's a painted sky
Side by side, we can fly
Time to go, don't ask whyLast edited on Fri Apr 3rd, 2020 08:39 pm by Joe mack
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Fri Apr 3rd, 2020 05:46 pm |
|
2nd Post |
cmaja
Member

Joined: | Fri Mar 22nd, 2019 |
Location: | Kennewick, Washington USA |
Posts: | 1121 |
Favorite Artist: | Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Billie Holiday, Metallica, Steely Dan | I am a: | Songwriter |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
This is nice, Joe! Simple AAA structure with a coda. Slight typo: Sometimes we lose, wometimes we win. I love the line: Silver spurs and a painted sky Great country lyric! Keep it up!
Charles
____________________ All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sat Apr 4th, 2020 08:41 am |
|
3rd Post |
Posted: Tue Apr 7th, 2020 12:27 am |
|
4th Post |
Andrea
Moderator
Joined: | Tue Nov 27th, 2018 |
Location: | Poughkeepsie, New York USA |
Posts: | 1883 |
Favorite Artist: | Queen, Tom Petty, Metallica, Kansas, Guns N' Roses | I am a: | Songwriter |
Status: |
Online
|
|
Hi Joe, I think you have something special here. Your hook is incredible. If you join the ideas of the first post with this new post, I think it will come together nicely. Some of these line are killers. I think if you can develop the story from verse to verse, then it will come together. The emotion is strong - keep plugging!
____________________ Andrea
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sat Jul 11th, 2020 01:23 am |
|
5th Post |
MASempine
Member

Joined: | Fri Jul 10th, 2020 |
Location: | Bridgeport, Alabama USA |
Posts: | 238 |
Favorite Artist: | Mac Davis, Ray Stevens, | I am a: | Songwriter |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
No issues from my perspective. Got several strengths that have already been mentioned. Good job. Well done.
____________________ What God cannot do is an empty list {...}
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sat Jul 11th, 2020 06:57 pm |
|
6th Post |
M.P. Dudash
Contributor

Joined: | Mon Apr 24th, 2017 |
Location: | Ohio USA |
Posts: | 1308 |
Favorite Artist: | George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary | I am a: | Other |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
Joe, agree with the others on the silver spurs painted sky line, very nice. I don’t care for word nigh. It may be just me but it reminds me of what I would hear In a Christmas song. Other than that it works.
____________________ Takamine GN71CE Sunburst
Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sun Aug 16th, 2020 04:24 am |
|
7th Post |
jdtaper
Member
Joined: | Sun Dec 25th, 2016 |
Location: | Milwaukee, USA |
Posts: | 343 |
Favorite Artist: | Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Garth Brooks | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
Simple and heartfelt. I'm curious what style of Country you want this in
(70s-80s traditional,
90's neo traditional/contemporary,
2000's Modern,
2000's Crossover Country-Pop).
____________________ My music is 50% Country, 50% Pop/Rock (25% Rock and 25% Pop).
|
Back To Top
|
|
 |
|