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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 02:07 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey there,
I know most are afraid and most of you can’t hear it anymore. If that’s so just don’t read this piece. I had to write it after walking around yesterday evening and I was kind of smashed by the damn silence around me.
So I started thinking, my brain started working...
It’s not the best I have ever written but somehow it was more like „a therapy process“ to write it and doing this I put my mind in order again and became aware of my fears.
If you read it, feel free to comment.
I hope all of you stay happy and healthy!
GHOST TOWN
A cold wind howls through empty streets A‘
The first sunbeams awake the spring
But this year no one seems to care
The birds have not returned to sing
There is no one at the market place
And there are closed shops everywhere
All this silence seems so heavy
As heavy as this poisoned air
For some it wasn’t serious A+
And for some it was just too late
Ignorance always finds its way
Thinking people exaggerate
Now humans are hiding inside
All wondering how they may survive
They try to fight their enemy
Not knowing how they may revive
We are not invincible B
But we think we’ll always win
We are not unstoppable
The bridge we cross is narrow and thin
We are not invincible
There’s a punishment for every sin
Look at the ghost town you’re livin‘ in
May we make it through this C
And fight the invisible
May we make it through this
And may we learn a thing or two
May we make it through this
And fight the invisible
May we all understand
What truly is life’s greatest bliss
How shall we handle all of this? A*
This is a serious affair
All this silence is so heavy
As heavy as our poisoned air
© by Ian P.
Words by Ian P.
22.03.2020
for: Valentine+BLast edited on Tue Mar 24th, 2020 12:40 am by RainbowKeeper
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Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 09:05 pm |
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 09:31 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Thank you for your kind words! Please stay healthy and happy!
I already told some of my friends in the states how bad it is where I live.
I can only say get Rubbergloves and masks ready.
Tgc
RK
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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 09:40 pm |
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Andrea
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RK, This is very good - well written. I think you have capture the true feelings of many right now.
My favorite lines are:
"All this silence seems so heavy
As heavy as this poisoned air"
2 lines I may look to tweak are:
"I guess all birds have stopped to sing" - seemed oddly worded
"Only a few are still alive" - this is fine unless you are trying to be right about what it is really like. Maybe more like time will tell how many will survive, or shutting down the world, just to stay alive.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 09:52 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey!
Ty for your feedback!
I don’t know but somehow I wanted the birds in, even if it sounds a little odd, because I really had this feeling in the moment I walked around outside. But I didn’t want them all „to die“ so this was second best. But I think about it. Also about the second one you mentioned. To me the weakest line in the whole song. But hey it was late and I got tired 😂😂
I will definitely look at it and see if a better line comes to my mind!
Ty again
RK!
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 10:01 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey,
Would you mind and check it again please? I changed the lines.
Ty
RK
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Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Mar 23rd, 2020 01:11 am |
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Andrea
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Hi Ian, I have been giving this some thought. Working on some ideas. Is this meant to be a chorus (I think it might work)?
"We are not invincible
But we think we’ll always win
We are not unstoppable
The bridge we cross is narrow and thin
We are not invincible
There’s a punishment for every sin
Look at the ghost town you’re livin‘ "
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| Posted: Mon Mar 23rd, 2020 01:18 am |
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RainbowKeeper
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Oha Andrea,
You got me again.
I forgot to put my a/b and c s next to the parts. But yeah the one you mentioned is the b part, which means chorus.
Ty for reminding me!
Ian
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Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Mar 23rd, 2020 01:27 am |
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RainbowKeeper
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My teacher and I always worked with a simple system. A = Vers (A‘ First / A+ second/ A* third...and so on. B is the chorus and C is the brakin part. You may call it coda or bridge. Just to explain how I write. The way I post it also doesn’t show (at least not always) how the parts follow one another. If I’m sure about that, I usually post an extra line like: A‘/A+/B/C/B/A*....and so on. 😉
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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24th, 2020 12:38 am |
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RainbowKeeper
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ty andrea for your help to make it even more "perfect"! 
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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