 |
| Posted: Tue Mar 17th, 2020 01:48 am |
|
1st Post |
RainbowKeeper
Contributor
| Joined: | Fri Feb 14th, 2020 |
| Location: | Germany |
| Posts: | 453 |
| Favorite Artist: | | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Hey everyone,
Please feel free to give opinions, ideas and feedback!
I‘m not sure about the c-part but somehow I had to „give birth“ to this...
Thank you
RK
Where do I go from here?
We follow our compass A‘
We all follow our way
Sometimes we potter slowly
Or we hurry through the day
Sometimes we cross wild rivers
Hopefully there is a bridge
We crawl across some deserts
Or we climb a mountain ridge
But what if some lose their maps? A+
What if some can’t read the stars?
Lonely lost in roundabouts
And with faces full of scars
Who can help those, read the signs?
Who will help and make them see
Does someone pay attention?
And might help people like me
Every end gives birth to madness B
Every start means some thoughts of fear
Any crossroad needs decisions
And where do I go from here?
Every aim seems to be to far
Every gain may just disappear
Any wanderer needs some landmarks
And where should I, and where shall I
Yes where do I go from here?
Why can’t I fly C
Above it all
Why can’t I fly
Don’t care about direction
But with space for self reflection
Why can’t I fly
Above it all
Why can’t I fly
And when my feet take off the ground
I’d show you all my true affection
What if some have lost their maps? A*
And dark clouds cover the stars?
Dead ends over and over
Tears on faces full of scars
© by Ian P.
Words by Ian P.
17.03.2020
for: Valentine+B
____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
|
|
Back To Top
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 18th, 2020 09:19 pm |
|
2nd Post |
Billy_Lunch_Money
Contributor
| Joined: | Fri Mar 2nd, 2018 |
| Location: | Leicester, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 168 |
| Favorite Artist: | Hendrix,Nirvana,Ozric Tentacles,Messa,Alice in Chains,Windhand,Khruangbin | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Hi RK
I like this one quite a lot!
Just a thought since you said "I‘m not sure about the c-part." It does feel a little squeezed out! I'm not sure if this is going to help!
The use of "Why" in this song seems to make it a bit of an abrupt question to the listener/reader. Perhaps using "Oh" and/or "So" or at something along those lines would make it a bit more of an open question up for interpretation by the listener. Maybe build up to the "Why"?
I was wondering if this is a one person/personal journey, in parts you have use "I"? On that note maybe a few "we"s may be a bit more inviting to the listener?
I'm not entirely sure as I'm still learning the ropes myself!
BLM
BLM
____________________
Sorry I've been away for so long. I'm gonna try and catch up on everything that's been going on.
https://soundcloud.com/elijah-falls
|
|
Back To Top
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 18th, 2020 09:19 pm |
|
3rd Post |
| Posted: Wed Mar 18th, 2020 09:56 pm |
|
4th Post |
RainbowKeeper
Contributor
| Joined: | Fri Feb 14th, 2020 |
| Location: | Germany |
| Posts: | 453 |
| Favorite Artist: | | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Hey blm,
Ty for your comment! I really appreciate it!
At the moment I write very personal stuff that’s true. And I already wrote the next one a day after this piece here.
You are right about the change from the perspective of a „viewer“ to the Ego/I. I tried to build a bridge that helps with that change by writing the line:
And might help people like me
So the B and C Parts are my personal feelings and thoughts about the Situation. Very much self-reflecting I must say. But I also wanted to finish the whole circle with the right images and pictures that makes this song complete.
The c- part is a bit difficult but I guess I know what you mean with this hard cut there, but somehow it is what I wanted to have.
I want a music change exactly on that part and a more clear sounding voice singing those words. A little bit as if it is some kind of wishful thought or dream sequence.
From all the difficult searching for the right way u are somehow able to „just“ let it go. But I still dunno if the image of „flying“ fits in.
When I wrote it I thought: when do you see everything? When can you go where you want to go? If you are above it all....And that’s why I have chosen that way of saying it. But maybe you know the feeling....if u think it’s not good nuff but you don’t know how to make it better?! Hard to explain, but I even can’t put my finger on the thing that disturbs me. Maybe it’s the thing that I just need someone, only one person, that says....I know what you mean there! ?!
I don’t know.
But I truly feel great to get a comment from you.
I always use my lyrics and songs as some kind of diary and so it makes me really proud if ppl like what I do. But I am also always open for discussions, that only help us to grow.
So ty again for your words!
RK
____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
|
|
Back To Top
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 19th, 2020 01:38 am |
|
5th Post |
Billy_Lunch_Money
Contributor
| Joined: | Fri Mar 2nd, 2018 |
| Location: | Leicester, United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 168 |
| Favorite Artist: | Hendrix,Nirvana,Ozric Tentacles,Messa,Alice in Chains,Windhand,Khruangbin | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
I kind of know what you mean about writing personal stuff. At the moment I only have two sets of lyrics on here!
"Dances for the moon" and "Just let me go" Both are based on experiences from my passed. But they have similar themes and I aways find it difficult to find the right words to articulate the feelings/emotions of the experience I had 5, 10 or so years ago. This is doubly compounded in my case by my upbringing to "bury you feels", "Don't show weakness", "Be a man, don't cry!" and rubbish like that!
Some people might believe lyrics are a way of working things out in our own heads... Things we may have not come to terms with or something? All I can say is I'm not the same person I was in my youth and I am better for it all. true be told I just want to tell a good story in my lyrics that'll leave a bit to the listener's imagination!
I have some others song's I'm going to posting soon, but before that. I want to polish them up a bit first. I have not really written much of anything since Uni except code. Which is why I'm on TSF learning a much as I can about song writing before I do anything more.
BLM 
____________________
Sorry I've been away for so long. I'm gonna try and catch up on everything that's been going on.
https://soundcloud.com/elijah-falls
|
|
Back To Top
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 19th, 2020 02:12 am |
|
6th Post |
RainbowKeeper
Contributor
| Joined: | Fri Feb 14th, 2020 |
| Location: | Germany |
| Posts: | 453 |
| Favorite Artist: | | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Yep we all change and that reflects in our writing. I wrote a lot during the last couple of years. I must have over 200 lyrics in my books.
Some self reflection stuff but also some „stories“ that came to my mind. Sometimes I write 3 a day and sometimes I don’t write one in half a year.
But I agree on that: cleaning up the own mind point.
And I have noticed that there are 3 types of writers
A) those that can’t/won’t write about themselves
B) those who reflect a lot and like to write about themselves
C) those who only write party/love or Schlager lyrics
I am a category B) type.
And when I look at my old stuff....uff very different, some good ideas, but definitely not as good as the stuff I write nowadays!
But sometimes I love looking up my old songs, and once in a while I sing those songs. Walking on memory lane I guess. And I always hope that since I wrote that stuff, I might have learned a thing or two.
Can’t wait to read more of your stuff!
Cheerio for now
RKLast edited on Thu Mar 19th, 2020 02:14 am by RainbowKeeper
____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
|
|
Back To Top
|
|
|
|
