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Ever since he was in my life today
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Fri Mar 13th, 2020 07:05 pm
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Radorno
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Ever since he was in my life today

Ever since he was in my life today
He is always around to save
We should therefore have faith and pray every
Day

His love is true
All the things he wants us to do
Christ's love lasts forever
My situation is now better

I've felt this emotion before
I can't take this pain any more
Because the divine shine's bright
I want to feel my savior and redeemer the
Lord Jesus Christ tonight

Ever since he was in my life today
He is always around to save
We should have faith and pray every day

His love is true
All the things he wants us to do
Christ's love lasts forever
My situation is now better

As the day happens what has happened
I want to follow the good book that I can't
Get enough
I would like to share my love with the
Lord above

Ever since he was in my life today
He is always around to save
We should therefore have faith and pray every
Day

His love is true
All the things he wants us to do
Christ's love lasts forever
My situation is now better

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 Posted: Fri Mar 13th, 2020 10:25 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6257
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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[Moved to the Gospel Lyrics section]

There's a sincerity and passion to this that is appealing. But it feels like it needs some work.

It feels like it is written from personal experience, and that much of that experience isn't there in the lyric, so the context is missing. If you are writing it primarily for yourself, that's ok, but if you want to bring an audience along with you, and make them feel what you feel, then you may need to address that.

"Ever since he was in my life today"
"Ever since" indicates the past. That doesn't fit with "today". Perhaps you did that for effect, but I don't think it works. It's just confusing and doesn't convey much.

"He is always around to save"
Here's some of that missing context. Presumably it was you who was saved, but even that isn't clear, and saved from what? Sin? Suicide?

"We should therefore have faith and pray every"
the rhythm of that eludes me. Also the "therefore" feels wrong. It implies logic from the previous lines that isn't there.

You've written "Day" on its own separate line. It feels like "Every Day" might work better, but that's without hearing musically what you have in mind.

"His love is true
All the things he wants us to do
Christ's love lasts forever"
Those are much stronger and clearer lines

"My situation is now better"
Again context missing. You didn't explain it before and the situation is no clearer here. Also you are jumping between more abstract statements like "his love is true" and very personal statements "my situation..." without any sort of link. It feels adhoc.

"As the day happens what has happened"
that doesn't make sense

Reading between the lines, what I get from this is that you were in a bad place, and that Christ's love saved you and you are thankful for that. But I think that should be in the lines, and not between them.



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