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I Didn't Believe
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 Posted: Fri Feb 14th, 2020 05:19 pm
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Andrea
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Thank you for all the ideas for improvement. I have made some changes based on the feedback and suggestions. I have written multiple chorus options, but am liking best the one I am posting here. Please let me know your thoughts. The original is posted below the new version. Thank you :)

I Didn't Believe (or possibly - I Am Yours?)

I didn't believe
In love at first sight
That was until I saw you

Love at first sight
From deep inside
My heart was open wide
Your beauty within
Washed over me
Like a wave off the ocean tide

Chorus
If this is real, please pinch me
If this is a dream, don't wake me
I am yours, come take me
I am yours, come take me

I didn't believe
Time could move so fast
As it is does when I am with you

So fast day and night
Blur into one
You shine like the midnight sun
Come pull me close
Hold onto me tight
'Til our heartbeats become one

Chorus
If this is real, please pinch me
If this is a dream, don't wake me
I am yours, come take me
I am yours, come take me

I didn't believe
In eternal love
That was until I loved you

Eternally joined
Through time and space
Even death can not erase
Unconditional love
Above and beyond
United our souls embrace

Chorus
If this is real, please pinch me
If this is a dream, don't wake me
I am yours, come take me
I am yours, come take me

If this is real, please pinch me
If this is a dream, don't wake me
I am yours, come take me
I am yours, come take me
I am yours, come take...


Original
I Didn't Believe

I didn't believe
In love at first site
That was until I saw you

A mysterious force
From deep inside
My heart was open wide
Your beauty within
Washed over me
Like a wave off the ocean tide

I didn't believe
Time could move so fast
As it does when I'm with you

Both day and night
Blur into one
You shine like the midnight sun
Come pull me close
Hold onto me tight
'Til our heartbeats become one

(Maybe a future bridge here, or some instrumental solo)

I didn't believe
In love everlasting
That was until I loved you

Eternally joined
Through time and space
Even death can not erase
Unconditional love
Above and beyond
United our souls embrace

Last edited on Thu Feb 20th, 2020 01:18 pm by Andrea



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 Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 12:18 am
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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Okay Andrea, I had a read and a re-read and I have one suggestion, a contraction of I am to I’m in
“As it is does when I'm with you.” Should fit a little better.

I’ve also had a little crack at a chorus for you, in hopes I’ll get some inspiration for my own. I couldn’t make up my mind whether to use “Your Love” or “Your heart” throughout but then I remembered your title!

I Didn't Believe your love would moves me to a higher ground.
I Didn't Believe your heart could soothes me, when I can hear the sounds.
I Didn't Believe your love would removes all my doubts and fears
I Didn't Believe your heart could washed away all of my tears.

Last edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 12:19 am by Billy_Lunch_Money



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 Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 01:25 pm
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Andrea
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Hi Billy_Lunch_Money, The first suggestion is done (and I fixed a typo too). It is awesome that you sent me ideas for a chorus - Thanks

I like these ideas. I am not sure about the second line, but it will give me some food for thought. I was working on something myself, but wasn't feeling it too much. Thank you for the inspiration. I will try to post something in a day or two.



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 Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 05:27 pm
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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Hi Andrea,

I wasn't too sure about that line either, it was the last one I came up with and at 1am I was a little more tired than I expected. I'm glad I could of help in some small way.

Last edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 05:28 pm by Billy_Lunch_Money



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 Posted: Tue Feb 18th, 2020 02:07 am
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RainyDayMan
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My first thought was that "I don't believe" would sing better than "I didn't believe". It's a bit of stretch to make that work here, so I don't expect you'll want to change it, but you might get away with it:

I don't believe
In love at first sight
That was until I saw you


If you can, I would try to re-use the phrase from the "I didn't believe" verse in what follows. So:

I didn't believe
In love at first site (sight)
That was until I saw you

Love at first sight
From deep inside
...
I think you're already doing that thematically but I think direct repetition of phrases would strengthen it.

So the next one might be:
So fast day and night
Blur into one



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 Posted: Tue Feb 18th, 2020 04:27 pm
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Andrea
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Thanks RDM, I love that idea! Still trying to work out a chorus. I'll make some changes soon.



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 Posted: Thu Feb 20th, 2020 04:04 am
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M.P. Dudash
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Andrea, not sure if this could be a direction? Kind of a combination of the lines? Take or leave it.

I didn’t believe
In love at first sight
Then you opened my eyes
Revealing the light

Hidden deep inside
My heart opened wide
Till that beautiful tide, washed over me
I didn’t believe

I didn’t believe.....In everlasting
Undying love, unending passion
Our hearts became one... unselfishly
You showed me the reality
Of what I didn’t believe



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 Posted: Thu Feb 20th, 2020 01:23 pm
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Andrea
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Thank you M.P. for your ideas. I have been working on a chorus for a couple days now and just finished changes this morning. Right now I do not plan to re-write the verses unless feedback clearly suggests I do so. Enjoy



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 Posted: Thu Feb 20th, 2020 04:05 pm
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cmaja
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Hi Andrea... I like your new chorus and original verses. By overall this could make a great pop song. Fine job!

Charles



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 Posted: Thu Feb 20th, 2020 08:41 pm
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That's come on nicely, Andrea! I like the new chorus.



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 Posted: Fri Feb 21st, 2020 12:58 am
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Andrea
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cmaja wrote:
Hi Andrea... I like your new chorus and original verses. By overall this could make a great pop song. Fine job!

Charles


That is nice compliment and it means a lot coming from you.

Thanks Charles :)



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 Posted: Fri Feb 21st, 2020 12:59 am
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Andrea
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RainyDayMan wrote:
That's come on nicely, Andrea! I like the new chorus.

Thanks RDM. I am actually pretty happy with this one.



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 Posted: Sat Feb 22nd, 2020 11:31 am
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M.P. Dudash
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Much better Andrea.



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 Posted: Sat Feb 22nd, 2020 07:48 pm
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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Wow!



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 Posted: Sat Feb 22nd, 2020 09:45 pm
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Andrea
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Thanks M.P., I agree.

Thank you too Billy. "wow" just made my whole day :)



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 Posted: Sun Feb 23rd, 2020 06:21 am
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I am yours is the strongest hook, so I'd say I'm. Nice work. Suggested Title: I'm Yours



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 Posted: Sun Feb 23rd, 2020 05:40 pm
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This is awesome Andrea. Great work.
I'm a little late on the thread, but I just wanted to say this is really good!



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 Posted: Mon Feb 24th, 2020 12:22 am
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Andrea
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SongWriterJoe wrote:
I am yours is the strongest hook, so I'd say I'm. Nice work. Suggested Title: I'm Yours

Thanks for your input. I do think "I'm Yours" has a positive tone, where "I didn't Believe" doesn't sound positive.



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 Posted: Mon Feb 24th, 2020 12:23 am
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Andrea
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samiamiamsam wrote:
This is awesome Andrea. Great work.
I'm a little late on the thread, but I just wanted to say this is really good!


Thank you Sam! This is one of my own favorites.



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 Posted: Thu Feb 27th, 2020 06:44 pm
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Hi Andrea! Your lyrics tell a story that some, if not many, can relate to. As I read the lyrics, I could feel the emotions all over again.

I really like both titles that you have chosen for your lyrics! I feel "I Didn't Believe" is very mystical and is an attention grabber. "I Am Yours" reminds me of a sweet innocent love song. Andrea, you cannot go wrong with either title. I cannot wait to hear the competed process (music and all)!! Looking forward to it!!

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