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Love me for all my flaws: A new original song!
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Thu Jan 23rd, 2020 03:09 pm
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AnonymousLou
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Hey TSF,
I am back with a new original piece- another blues song to tide over my soul!
This piece is called 'Love me for all my flaws' (link to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZPHBE54EaA).
This song features my own vocals as well as accompaniment (from myself on ukulele).
Lyrics:
I am not the easiest lady.
Been that way since I was a baby.
But whatever you do,
whatever you do,
please just love me for all of my flaws.

Being round me I'm a roller coaster.
Hold on tight or get thrown over.
I ain't the one in control,
I ain't in charge.
Please just love me for all of my flaws.

I must say that I am truly sorry,
I know I cause a lot of hurt and worry.
Life is hitting us in the stomach,
like everyone I'm just as flummoxed.
Please still love me for all of my flaws.

I don't wish to be no trouble.
I feel like my head is stuck in a bubble.
I'm a sensitive soul,
I'm scared at heart.
Please just love me for all of my flaws.

I am not the easiest lady.
Been that way since I was a baby.
But whatever you do,
whatever you do,
please just love me for all of my flaws.

I don't wish to be no trouble.
I feel like my head is stuck in a bubble.
I'm a sensitive soul,
I'm scared at heart.
Please just love me for all of my flaws.

I am not the easiest lady.
Been that way since I was a baby.
But whatever you do,
whatever you do,
please just love me for all of my flaws.



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 Posted: Fri Jan 24th, 2020 12:01 am
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jamestoffee
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Nice delivery, concept and straightforward manner.

Nice imagery with the roller coaster and fragile nature of a bubble

Towards the end instead of repeating a previous verse, consider including a verse of WHY the singee should love the singer for all her flaws...

...it might be nice to even have a twist at the end revealing the singer is looking at a mirror and singing the song to herself.

Thanks for sharing.

James



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 Posted: Fri Jan 24th, 2020 02:30 pm
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AnonymousLou
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Thanks, James :)
I'll take the feedback on board and have a play around with the song :)
-Lou



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 Posted: Sat Jan 25th, 2020 05:19 am
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RainyDayMan
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I like that line:
Please just love me for all of my flaws
I think nearly everyone can get on board with that!

Musically, I like the break at:
I am not the easiest lady
nice to change it up a little. Because it doesn't have a chorus, it needs some variety at that point.

I like a lot of the lines, but I think it needs to develop in some way. Perhaps you could reveal what some of the flaws are?

And I agree with James about some sort of reveal at the end.
Maybe you could say something along the lines of:
and I'll love you for all of yours



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 Posted: Sat Jan 25th, 2020 09:03 am
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AnonymousLou
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Hey, Rainydayman, I'll have a play around and see what I can do!
Thanks for listening!
-Lou



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 Posted: Mon Feb 10th, 2020 05:02 am
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cmaja
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Hey, Lou... I love this!! It has the makings of a an excellent blues song! Keys, sax and bass; slow it down a bit and you got a serious, soul-stirring blues number that Billie Holiday would’ve loved to sing. But you’ve got a superb voice for blues too, so forget Billie. Great job!

Charles



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 Posted: Tue Apr 14th, 2020 03:42 pm
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AnonymousLou
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Thanks so much!!!
-Lou



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 Posted: Tue Apr 14th, 2020 03:45 pm
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AnonymousLou
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Hey guys, thanks so much for all your lovely comments and feedback;
based on the feedback given the last three verses now go as follows:

I am not the easiest lady
been that way since I was a baby
but whatever you do
whatever you do
please just love me for all of my flaws.

I don't wish to be no trouble
I feel like my head is stuck in a bubble
I'm a sensitive soul
I'm scared at heart
Please just love me for all my flaws.

I am a woman of many flaws
If I were you I wouldn't open that door
Please just love me
for all my flaws
and I will love you for all of yours.

P.S. Thanks so much rainydayman for such a great suggestion for the closing line!



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