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Long Long Day
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat Jan 18th, 2020 04:05 am
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jgkojak
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Demo

LONG LONG DAY

Call you on the telephone
but there's no one on the line
You say you need to be alone
If it takes a little time
And I sit wondering if I
still love you

It's a long long day into the night
(its a long long day)
I try so hard to get it right
(its a long long night)
It's a long long day into the night
It's a long long day

Now the wires have crossed
(its a long long day)
And it feels like all is lost
(such a long day)
and I lay here waiting
all through the lonely night

The phone begins to ring
I don't care it isn't you
Ah the joy a love can bring
And the heartache too
and I sit here wondering if I
still love you

It's a long long day into the night
(its a long long day)
I try so hard to get it right
(its a long long night)
It's a long long day into the night
It's a long long day
It's a long long day into the night
(its a long long day)
I try so hard to get it right
(its a long long night)
It's a long long day into the night
It's a long long night
It's a long long nto the night
It's a long night

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 Posted: Sat Jan 18th, 2020 07:37 am
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jamestoffee
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I like the way the melody is sung in a conversational style.

The concept of waiting by a phone is pretty universal, but it would make more sense this line be changed from....

And I sit wondering if I
still love you

TO

And I sit wondering if YOU
still love ME

Because if it's self-reflection, the singer doesn't need to hear from the singee what the singer thinks for themselves...What the singer might question is if the silence from the singee means the singee no longer loves the singer.

Thanks for sharing.

James



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 Posted: Sun Jan 19th, 2020 07:26 pm
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ChrisPrice
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This song has shades of post-Beatles John Lennon about it. I appreciate that this is a demo, but I can imagine how it could be produced with a band, orchestration and backing vocals. A really good song in the making.

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 Posted: Mon Jan 20th, 2020 08:54 am
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RainyDayMan
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Thing that struck me with this one is how quickly "long, long day/night" is sung - the opposite of what the words mean! It might take some re-arranging but I think it might work better if you could stretch those out or give them some space.

I do like the "long long day into the night" phrase. That feels like it has legs.



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 Posted: Thu Feb 13th, 2020 08:20 pm
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highvibrational
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Favorite Artist: Beatles, Ella Fitzgerald, Sam Cooke, James Taylor, John Lennon
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This is so familiar a vibe to me and I found it like easing into a pair of my most comfortable slippers. I feel the vocals could be more clear, recording-wise, but otherwise, I love this song. Thank you.



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 Posted: Thu Feb 13th, 2020 10:10 pm
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moptop
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I get a very strong ELO/Jeff Lynn feel from this as well as well as the John Lennon feel Chris mentioned, and I agree with him, I think this would be great worked up into a full band production. A lot of orchestrational options to work with here.
Very good song, thanks for sharing.



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