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Today I Said Goodbye To Me
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat Jan 11th, 2020 02:45 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Woke up shaking like I do, most everyday
But today it was a bad dream that made me this way
I dreamt I read the news, and when I turned to page two
There in black and white was my, notice of goodbye

Today I said goodbye to me
Like ashes in an ashtray
Blow away in a breeze
It opened up my eyes and made me realize my disease
Today I, said goodbye to me

Now there’s another bridge to burn but this one’s different
It’s foundation never goes away and somehow still stands strong
In the shadows from the flames I saw my demons
Walking right beside me, like they have all along

Today I said goodbye to me
Like ashes in an ashtray
Blow away in a breeze
It opened up my eyes and made me realize my disease
Today I, said goodbye to me

It’s the first day in the rest of my life
Though the end ain’t near I can finally see the light
I know this won’t be easy, it’s a never ending fight
But this first step’s so sobering I must be doing something right

Today I said goodbye to me
It opened up my eyes to this disease
I know it won’t be easy to finally be set free.....
But Today I...said goodbye...to me

Copyright © Michael P. Dudash 1/11/2020

Last edited on Sat Jan 11th, 2020 02:49 pm by M.P. Dudash



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 Posted: Sun Jan 12th, 2020 10:07 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Strong title & hook, and I like the overall theme.

The chorus flows smoothly, and i particularly like:
Like ashes in an ashtray
Blow away in a breeze


I found the meaning of these lines ambiguous:
Now there’s another bridge to burn but this one’s different
It’s foundation never goes away and somehow still stands strong


whereas the ones that follow felt stronger and more direct:
In the shadows from the flames I saw my demons
Walking right beside me, like they have all along


The rhythm of this line feels a bit stuttery:
But this first step’s so sobering I must be doing something right
though I do like the double meaning on "sobering"

And the ending is nice. A different take on saying goodbye to me. And a solid conclusion.



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 Posted: Sun Jan 12th, 2020 10:54 pm
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3rd Post
M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1129
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
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Thanks Owen. It looks like some subtle changes could be needed. I’m just glad that you got the meaning. Someone else saw it and said they didn’t understand it’s meaning. I thought it was fairly clear but I guess one never knows how someone else will take it. Thanks for looking.



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