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 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank  

Joined: Mon Jul 22nd, 2019
Posts: 80
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Those dusty roads were blowin
as I headed out of town
I was leaving forever
no looking back or turning around

You killed all my dreams
with things that you'd done
I was working for our future
while you were out having fun

I had big dreams
I thought you had them too
when I found the knives in my back
were put there by you

you were the cheater
the killer of my dreams
took my hopes and desires
you don't know what love means

my future all planned
so clear in my head
and with just one stroke
you killed them all dead

no turning back now
My dreams are all gone
to many memories
I've got to move on

Your cold heart is ruthless
you don't have a care
I was just a notch on your bedpost
to help you get there


M.P. Dudash

Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1153
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
I am a: Other
Alan, lots to work with here. I like the title, lines and overall idea. I am however wondering if you left out a chorus before the I had big dreams line? This verse seems to read much slower than the first two. Overall all I like it, just a tweak or two and you’ll be there.


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 644
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Lyle Lovett, Billie Holiday, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Hey Alan. I agree with Mike. I can’t quite figure out the structure. Is it just seven stanzas, does it have a bridge, chorus or coda? But I definitely like it.


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