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She Didn’t See
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 Posted: Thu Oct 31st, 2019 12:53 am
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cmaja
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She Didn’t See
_______________Verse/Chorus
Verse 1:
Her blues eyes flash when he walks in
She loved him from the very start
His gentle smile and his dark skin
And she prays they’ll never part

Pre-Chorus:
Although their love seems set in stone
Sometimes she feels all alone

Chorus 1:
She didn’t see he’d want to leave her
She didn’t feel the rhythm of his heart
Althought she thought he would please her
She didn’t see someday he’d depart

Verse 2:
She bites her lip and twirls her hair
And hopes the love will never end
But he may have a new affair
Can she remain just his friend, though

Chorus 1:
She didn’t see he’d want to leave her
She didn’t feel the rhythm of his heart
Althought she thought he would please her
She didn’t see someday he’d depart

Bridge:
Sometimes love’s a fickled thing
Sometimes it ends with broken hearts
Sometimes we should let things go
And seek a love we know’ll never part

Chorus 1:
She didn’t see he’d want to leave her
She didn’t feel the rhythm of his heart
Althought she thought he would please her
She didn’t see someday he’d depart

Verse 3:
Her blue eyes flash in the mirror
Despite tears flowing from her heart
She’ll watch the signs rather clearer
Maybe mend her broken heart, though

Chorus 2:
She didn’t see the love within her
She didn’t feel the rhythm of her heart
Although she sought men to please her
Now she sees the love that never parts

Post Chorus:
Now she sees the love that never parts

© 2019 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Sat Nov 2nd, 2019 05:14 pm by cmaja



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 Posted: Thu Oct 31st, 2019 01:06 am
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bunnythesinger
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Charles, I like this. Will sing nicely. Great job. Especially strong choruses. Technically I dont know what they call it when you get as much story from the chorus as you do from the verse...but I like it. Has an inverted feel to me ...makes me want to get to the next chorus for the new episode.

Bunny

Last edited on Thu Oct 31st, 2019 01:09 am by bunnythesinger



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 Posted: Fri Nov 1st, 2019 05:58 pm
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cmaja
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Yea Bunny, I think I was inverted when I wrote this. I’m a bit dyslectic; so sometimes I start a line from right to left or a stanza from down to up. My creative mind can be totally scattered when it’s doing its thing. Thank God my feet are made of brass —entrench in logic! I’m pleased you like it.

Charles



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 Posted: Sat Nov 2nd, 2019 04:42 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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I like the flow, but I think I would alternate the lines, as 'she' seems overemphasized and loses something:


She didn’t see he’d want to leave her
Or didn’t feel the rhythm of his heart
She always thought he'd please her
Couldn’t see someday they'd part

Hint: Just "call" the chorus like you do in a computer program. Write it once, and, unless it changes, reference it.

Last edited on Sat Nov 2nd, 2019 04:45 pm by SongWriterJoe



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 Posted: Sat Nov 2nd, 2019 08:30 pm
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cmaja
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Thanks SW Joe, I change the third line of the choruses.

Charles



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 Posted: Sat Nov 2nd, 2019 08:46 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Nice rewrite



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 Posted: Sun Nov 3rd, 2019 06:25 am
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cmaja
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Thanks, Joe.

Charles



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