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Challenge!!
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 Posted: Mon Oct 21st, 2019 03:46 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Here's a challenge to stir the latent creative juices. The rules: Written in traditional Japanese haiku poetry style, but must follow some kind of rhyming scheme. 5-7-5 structure, 5 syllables for the first line, 7 for the second, and 5 for the third line, in other words, the lines and choruses will all be written in structured triads. Any music genre, country, rap, rock, americana, folk, whatever.. Who will take up the gauntlet and meet my weird challenge? Not sure how this will turn out. Example verses:


V1

I dearly love her
And she means the world to me
She is my lover

She's one fine lady
Yeah that's plain for all to see
There is no other

Made for each other
This one special woman child
Makes this heart go wild

------------------------------------

V1

Baby oh baby
Why did you treat me so wrong
Baby oh baby

Now just move along
Baby oh baby I know
If they wrote a song

Baby oh baby
Why did you treat me so wrong?
Baby oh baby




Last edited on Mon Oct 21st, 2019 04:48 pm by SongWriterJoe



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 Posted: Tue Oct 22nd, 2019 12:14 am
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Andrea
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Hey Joe, Not sure these will ever becomes lyrics or songs, but I am now obsessed. I love haiku poems! I know they are typically about nature, so I will try more than once. I started out good, but it just took off to love.


The snow is falling
on cold bare branches tonight
you and me wrapped tight

a cup of cocoa
your face lit by firelight
what a perfect night

come snuggle closer
I want to feel your heartbeat
our love is complete

Last edited on Tue Oct 22nd, 2019 01:01 am by Andrea



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 Posted: Tue Oct 22nd, 2019 01:04 am
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Andrea
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I told you I was obsessed. A second attempt (with some help from my son!). Still not really sticking to the nature theme.

Hear the robin's song
when springtime comes before long
but something is wrong

you left back in may
six months till you get your pay
home for Christmas day

outside the snow breaks
inside my lonely heart aches
I count my mistakes



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 Posted: Tue Oct 22nd, 2019 07:56 am
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SongWriterJoe
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Its good practice to count syllables and be able to set the meter to your lyrics if nothing else



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 Posted: Tue Oct 22nd, 2019 08:25 am
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SongWriterJoe
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Hear the music play?
It's playing just for us, dear.
Feel it in your heart

Watch the palm trees sway
I'm so very glad you're near
Hope we never part

The time slips away
And now it has become clear
Nature's work of art

I've just gotta say
Makes my heart so glad you're here
Like a rising star

Last edited on Thu Oct 24th, 2019 09:47 pm by SongWriterJoe



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 Posted: Thu Oct 24th, 2019 09:53 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Joined: Thu Mar 22nd, 2018
Location: Eugene, Oregon USA
Posts: 215
Favorite Artist: Randy Travis, Garth Brooks, The Monkees, The Beatles, Santana, 3 ...
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I don't think haiku songs will ever become popular, but this is an interesting mental exercise!



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