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Italian writing in English
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Oct 14th, 2019 04:38 pm
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marly
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Hi everyone I’d need help about my lyrics.
This song is written in Italian but I’ll put in it some verses in English (kind of rap bars)
The song talks about my daughter who’s born few weeks ago

I’d like to know if my verses’s meaning is ok or not
Thank you very much !!!

“ I'll never find the words to explain what you mean to me
Can’t even tell how I feel
Now that finally I’ve got you here
you're the best thing I've ever had in my hands
God sent you in my life so that I could live again
Now I know
that I was born to love you
i’ll give you all the world and more
i promise i will be your warrior “

Than I need to find something else to close it

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 Posted: Mon Oct 14th, 2019 09:03 pm
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RainyDayMan
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The meaning is perfectly clear, Marly. No problems there.
And it's a wonderful, loving sentiment too.

If you don't mind, I have a couple of suggestions just to make it sound more natural in English, but these aren't necessary for clarity.

I've ever had in my hands > I've ever held in my hands
God sent you in my life > God sent you into my life



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 Posted: Tue Oct 15th, 2019 12:44 am
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samiamiamsam
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Sounds good to me Marly. I like RdM's suggestions.



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 Posted: Tue Oct 15th, 2019 01:10 am
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marly
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Thank you very much for support!!!

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 Posted: Tue Oct 15th, 2019 01:11 am
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marly
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RainyDayMan wrote:
The meaning is perfectly clear, Marly. No problems there.
And it's a wonderful, loving sentiment too.

If you don't mind, I have a couple of suggestions just to make it sound more natural in English, but these aren't necessary for clarity.

I've ever had in my hands > I've ever held in my hands
God sent you in my life > God sent you into my life



THANK YOU SO MUCH
I’ll USE YOUR SUGGESTIONS
THANK YOU AGAIN;)

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 Posted: Sun Oct 20th, 2019 01:03 am
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SongWriterJoe
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marly wrote:
Hi everyone I’d need help about my lyrics.
This song is written in Italian but I’ll put in it some verses in English (kind of rap bars)
The song talks about my daughter who’s born few weeks ago

I’d like to know if my verses’s meaning is ok or not
Thank you very much !!!

“ I'll never find the words to tell you (explain) what you mean to me
Can’t even tell how you how I feel
Now that finally I(’ve got) have you here with me
you're the best thing I've ever had in my life (hands)
God sent you (in my life) to me so (that) I could live again
Now I know
that I was born to love you
i’ll give you all the world and more
i promise i will be your warrior “

Than I need to find something else to close it


Molto bene! Here are some edits.. only problem I see here is no rhyming scheme; would be hard to sing.

SWJ

Last edited on Sun Oct 20th, 2019 01:07 am by SongWriterJoe



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