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I Haven't Seen It Yet
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 Posted: Fri Oct 4th, 2019 12:44 am
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bunnythesinger
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Started out completely different concept musically. I wrote the verses just as a typical Saturday in the backwood hills...and had the two lines that I ended up using for the refrain at the bottom of the page. Serendipity as I moved them to the beginning of the song, and realized it looked like a bluegrass style refrain...decided to use it throughout. My concept is that the refrain should be 4 part bluegrass harmony with a sustain and hold on the word 'set'. At least the first refrain should be a capella. Just throwing these notes in so you might have an idea of the musical concept. Im picturing Standard Bluegrass Quartet instrumentally ( G B M/V Str B )

As usual, all recommendations, corrections, ideas are appreciated. Thanks in advance for the read.

#6 in my 30 in 30 challenge.

Bunny



I Ain't Seen It Yet

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Verse 1
Momma's in the kitchen
Peelin' taters for a stew
Waitin' for some squirrel ain't yet been shot.
Sister's in the front room
Watchin' soaps on TV
Foldin' laundry while the iron's gettin' hot.

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Verse 2
Gramma's on the back porch
In her rocker snappin' peas.
Baby Joe is laughin' at the hog
Waitin' snout up for the hulls
That Gramma's gonna toss him
As he grunts and slips and slides around his bog

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Bridge
And me, I'm in the backyard
Leaned up against the car
Scratchin' Blue between the ears
Sippin' moonshine from a jar (hold on the word 'jar')

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Verse 3
Little sister's gotta date
Shes headin' into town
With that Baker boy from yonder Adam's Lot
Daddy's back from huntin'
With a bag of squirrels he's cleaned
And Momma hollers, "Drop 'em in the pot."

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Verse 4
The snap peas are done cookin'
With ham hocks on the stove
And Baby Joe is laughin' at TV
Momma sets the table
Daddy's wantin' stew
Just another country Saturday

Repeat Bridge
And me, I'm in the backyard
Leaned up against the car
Scratchin' Blue between the ears
Sippin' moonshine from a jar

Refrain
Listenin' to the crickets
As the sun begins to set...(hold on the word 'set')
Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.

Maybe life gets better,
But I ain't seen it yet.


© Copyright 2019 John Parrish













.


T

Last edited on Sun Oct 6th, 2019 03:15 am by bunnythesinger



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 Posted: Fri Oct 4th, 2019 06:21 am
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cmaja
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Hey Bunny,
I like it! I tried to sing it bluegrass the best I could, but some of the meter and line length in the verses kinda messed me up. But the imagery is great!

Charles



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 Posted: Fri Oct 4th, 2019 08:01 am
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bunnythesinger
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Charles, Glad you like it. Watch for edits as I adjust meters on some of the more questionable lines. I am using a basic I-I -I IV V chord structure for the verse and the compliment for the refrain. Rhythmically it 'mostly' works for me ...there are a couple of places that may require a little lyrical and phrasing gymnastics..and as i tighten up the music and build the chorded version, there are a few spots that will probably have slight changes. As you have seen with my lyrics, many times, I worry about rhyme and content before I work on rhythm and meter...lol..its my achilles heel for sure. Thanks for the read and the comments.

Bunny

Last edited on Fri Oct 4th, 2019 08:03 am by bunnythesinger



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 Posted: Sat Oct 5th, 2019 12:57 am
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cmaja
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bunnythesinger wrote:
As you have seen with my lyrics, many times, I worry about rhyme and content before I work on rhythm and meter...lol..its my achilles heel for sure. Thanks for the read and the comments.

Bunny


Yea Bunny, my left brain doesn’t let me get away with not watching structure closely.

Charles



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 Posted: Sun Oct 6th, 2019 12:29 am
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SongWriterJoe
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Another great song idea! You're on a roll

I (haven't) ain't seen it yet. {Grammatical consistency}

(delete:That's) Waitin' for (some) a squirrel that ain't yet been shot.

Foldin'(g) the clean laundry while the iron's gettin' hot.

Stay with "ing" or "in'" when writing to maintain consistency.

Last edited on Sun Oct 6th, 2019 12:31 am by SongWriterJoe



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 Posted: Sun Oct 6th, 2019 02:09 am
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bunnythesinger
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Thanks Joe. Read through suggestions and I like many of them. Just finished and posted # 8 so my eyes are starting to cross. Check back later and I will probably implement some of the suggestions...again...I agree on lots of them. I really appreciate the comments, suggestions and the read.
Time to start #9.

Bunny

Finally narrowed tomorrow's song down to two...so I went ahead and adressed the issues... thanks again. Bunny

Last edited on Sun Oct 6th, 2019 03:18 am by bunnythesinger



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 Posted: Fri Oct 11th, 2019 04:31 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Very visual! I like it!



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 Posted: Fri Oct 11th, 2019 05:26 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Maybe life gets better

Suggestion:

Maybe there's a better life



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"I'm not sure if my heart is in my music - or my music is in my heart!"
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