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Dark Spaces In My Nighttime
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Tue Oct 1st, 2019 08:34 pm
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bunnythesinger
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Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
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I have the music written for this one and musically its a couple of months old; lyrically, I had the first two lines of the chorus in a file,the rest is brand new, and I really had to push to get this one finished for today. I rarely write lyrics around a tune...and today I understand why...lol...hope you enjoy.
# 4 of 30 out of 30
Bunny


Dark Spaces In My Nighttime


Instrumental progression lead in ...
1 verse instrumental

Verse 1
You found me when my heart was broken
You took me in and soothed my soul
You comforted with words unspoken
You healed my heart and made it whole


Verse 2
I love to see your dark eyes flashing
At me across the bed
Bite your lip and say I love you
You're always racing through my head


Chorus
Dark spaces in my nighttime
Your eyes tell me make the night mine
Spread your wings and come home with me
Well fly the clouds home
Its just you and me
Its just you and me
You'll see

Instrumental verse

Chorus

Verse 3
I want you in my life completely
I need you in my heart tonight
I'll hold you in my arms so sweetly
And everything will be just right

Verse 4
I see you with your dark eyes flashing
At me across the bed
Bite your lip and say I love you
You're always racing through my head

Chorus
Dark spaces in my nighttime
Your eyes tell me make the night mine
Spread your wings and come home with me
Well fly the clouds home
Its just you and me
Its just you and me
You'll see

Instrumental progression out

© Copyright 2019 John Parrish

Last edited on Thu Oct 3rd, 2019 06:46 am by bunnythesinger



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 Posted: Wed Oct 2nd, 2019 03:48 pm
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cmaja
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Heck Bunny, it reads like one of my lyric! One of my good ones that is. I wanna hear the music on this one. This competition’s getting rough! Keep it coming.

Charles



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 Posted: Thu Oct 3rd, 2019 05:34 am
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RainyDayMan
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I like it Bunny!
Verse 1 is particularly smooth.

In v2 "At me across the bed" feels a bit short. You can space it out in the singing but I think it may sound a bit stretched.

You've written "Bite your lip and say I love"
did you deliberately leave off the "you"?
It's an interesting effect because the brain wants to put in the missing word.

"Dark spaces in my nighttime" is a lovely phrase.
It doesn't convey much meaning (to me) but I love the sound of it.
The chorus is another highlight for me.

V3 is another smooth one.

And I quite like the repeat on v2 after that as well.

Glad to hear there is music for it too!



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 Posted: Thu Oct 3rd, 2019 06:44 am
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bunnythesinger
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Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
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Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
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Thanks RDM, yep, completely left off the 'you' and so true...brain puts it in. At me across the bed...actually fits the music. Not sure what to say about dark spaces... was trying to convey that foggy feeling where dreams ( in this case the dream of wanting love) become reality (where the love actually takes form). Its kind of one of those things where you work in a phrase that you like, it starts to hold meaning for you, and you feel like the world should understand it...lol. Editing to insert the 'you'. I'm rethinking the Dark Spaces phrase.

Thanks for the read and suggestions. Watch for the edits.

Bunny



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"People always ask me what I write first, words or lyrics...and I always say, Yes." Martin Mull
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