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bunnythesinger
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Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
Posts: 440
Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
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Decided I needed a break from serious pieces and went to my hook file as a challenge to myself. Random hook, one day. Enjoy

Two Wrongs Don't Make It Right (But Three Lefts Do)

Verse 1:
I was sitting on a barstool down in Tucson
Your ex walked in and sat down next to me
Wearing brand new jeans and boots, and a new Stetson
And looked just like a cowboy wannabe

Verse 2
He went on and on about the way you'd been his girl
And he didn't say a thing considered nice
He swore up and down about how he was your world
And within a few short minutes he had wronged you twice

Verse 3
Number one he told barkeep you looked lonely
And tonight you would be going home with him
Number two he said you'd be his one and only
And before the night was over you'd be in his arms again

Bridge
So I looked Old Mr Boots and Hat, no Saddle in the eye
Said you already had a real cowboy and he should say goodbye

Verse 4
Had a cold one in my right hand and I could tell he wouldn't stop
He was on the floor in three quick lefts and I didn't spill a drop
Now the moral of this story might seem funny but its true
Two wrongs don't make it right but three lefts do

Instrumental

Repeat Bridge and Verse 4 to fade out

© Copyright 2019 John Parrish

Last edited on Sun Sep 22nd, 2019 05:57 am by bunnythesinger

RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
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Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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Clever, Bunny! Like how the hook panned out!
Light and fun. :)

SongWriterJoe
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Joined: Thu Mar 22nd, 2018
Location: Eugene, Oregon USA
Posts: 261
Favorite Artist: Randy Travis, Garth Brooks, The Monkees, The Beatles, Santana, 3 ...
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I like this, but dunno.. Seems like it has a lot of dead wood which would make it difficult to sing..

Something more like this, being sure to count syllables:

I was just sittin' on a barstool in Tucson
When your ex came and sat next ta me
Wearing new jeans, fancy boots, and black Stetson
Like any other ol' cowboy wannabe.

bunnythesinger
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Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
Posts: 440
Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
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Thanks RDM. I've been personally taking the 5 in 5 challenge as a practice run before i try the 30 in 30. Buddy of mine challenged me to write 30 songs in 30 days...and i want to accept...mainly because i think the push will actually improve my songwriting...It was both harder and easier than i thought. Im looking forward to it. Glad you found it light and fun...was what i was going for.

Thanks, Bunny

bunnythesinger
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Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
Posts: 440
Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
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Thanks Joe, yep...it needs to be dressed up some. Got a melody in mind and i wrote toward that, but i havent tried to play it yet. As usual, a lot of my stuff sings perfectly inside my head, and dont work worth a damn when i got a guitar in my hands, lol. Like the lyric edit suggestion. This one is number 3 of a 5 in 5 that im working on...when they are all done ill probably adress the flaws. Thanks for reading, glad you liked it.

Bunny

SongWriterJoe
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Joined: Thu Mar 22nd, 2018
Location: Eugene, Oregon USA
Posts: 261
Favorite Artist: Randy Travis, Garth Brooks, The Monkees, The Beatles, Santana, 3 ...
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Any time, Bunny. I'm a consummate perfectionist when it comes to rewrites; sometimes too much so. Don't get me wrong, my grammar isn't going to be perfect, nor do I try to make it so, but I try to make it perfect for the mood that I'm trying to reflect and the audience that I'm trying to reach. I don't always get there, but I'll give it my best shot.

SWJ

Last edited on Mon Sep 23rd, 2019 03:36 am by SongWriterJoe

bunnythesinger
Member


Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
Posts: 440
Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
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It shows how much you finesse your work Joe. Great stuff... big fan here. Being here is good for me; Im learning a lot from some great writers.

Bunny


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