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Typhoon Alice
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 Posted: Fri Sep 6th, 2019 04:58 am
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LongShadows
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Typhoon Alice
Was heading for the Philippines
They said they'd never seen a storm so wild
It was 1973,
the year my father died
The year that I forgot I was a child

She was clocking 40 knots
And five hundred miles wide
And tracking on a beeline for Manila
It was all they talked about
On the news that night
Everyone was sure she'd be a killer

Two days out she headed south
And her fuse started to fizzle
She suddenly began to lose her wind
When she limped into the Marshalls
She was no more than a drizzle
And no one ever mentioned her again

But I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like the my chest was caving in
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

Last edited on Fri Sep 6th, 2019 08:05 pm by LongShadows



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 Posted: Sat Sep 7th, 2019 11:44 am
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Motorist Sketchbook
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This is very interesting. I like it.
It raises many questions, since it seems to be a personal story.
Not clear if you were there in the path of the storm or just frightened by the news.
The connection of the death of your father in the same year.
And your leaving childhood. "... I forgot I was a child..."
What's the story?

- Sketch



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 Posted: Sat Sep 7th, 2019 02:55 pm
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LongShadows
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Thanks for asking, Sketch

1973, the year my father died, is the only true part of the story. I was 13, so I was about put childhood behind me anyway, but it did force me to grow up at least a little before my time.

I've added a verse and turned the last into a chorus. Maybe that will make it clearer. Though, I don't want to be too clear, the listener needs some blanks to fill in.

In a sense, Typhoon Alice represents my own mortality, but don't tell anyone.

tragedies, they come and go
So often and so fast
Sometimes it seems they're done before they start
But this far away calamity
That never came to pass
Still puts a lot of pressure on my heart

(Ch)
I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like the my chest was caving in
(Feeling like the walls were closing in)
(Feeling like the world was going to end)
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

Last edited on Sat Sep 7th, 2019 04:58 pm by LongShadows



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 Posted: Sat Sep 7th, 2019 10:09 pm
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Motorist Sketchbook
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LongShadows wrote: Thanks for asking, Sketch

1973, the year my father died, is the only true part of the story. I was 13, so I was about put childhood behind me anyway, but it did force me to grow up at least a little before my time.

I've added a verse and turned the last into a chorus. Maybe that will make it clearer. Though, I don't want to be too clear, the listener needs some blanks to fill in.

In a sense, Typhoon Alice represents my own mortality, but don't tell anyone.

tragedies, they come and go
So often and so fast
Sometimes it seems they're done before they start
But this far away calamity
That never came to pass
Still puts a lot of pressure on my heart

(Ch)
I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like the my chest was caving in
(Feeling like the walls were closing in)
(Feeling like the world was going to end)
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

Thanks.
Those additional lyrics help a lot. They answer the obvious questions without "giving away the farm", as they say.

- Sketch



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 Posted: Sun Sep 8th, 2019 07:13 pm
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LongShadows
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WIP no more, (maybe)

Typhoon Alice

(V1)
When Typhoon Alice
Was heading for the Philippines
Everyone was sure she'd be a killer
She was clocking forty knots
Five hundred miles wide
Tracking on a beeline for Manila

(V2)
It was all they talked about
On the news that night
said they'd never seen a storm so wild
It was 1973
The year my father died
The year that I forgot I was a child

(Ch)
And I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like my chest was caving in
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

(V3)
Two days out she headed south
And her fuse began to fizzle
Suddenly she started losing wind
When she limped into the Marshalls
She was no more than a drizzle
And no one ever mentioned her again

(Ch)
But I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like the walls were closing in
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

(Br)
Tragedies, they come and go
So often and so fast
Sometimes it seems they're done before they start
But this far away calamity
That never came to pass
Still puts a lot of pressure on my heart

(Ch)
I remember
A certain sense of doom
Feeling like the world was going to end
When Typhoon Alice
Blew into my room
I wondered if I'd ever breathe again

(Repeat chorus 2x with altered center lines in reverse order)


Gregg Barrett 2019

Last edited on Mon Sep 9th, 2019 04:33 am by LongShadows



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 Posted: Mon Sep 9th, 2019 10:28 am
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There you go.
That's the whole story, but still makes you think. Well done.

- Sketch



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 Posted: Mon Sep 9th, 2019 04:42 pm
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Andrea
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Hi Gregg, I really like it. Your descriptive words make it easy to picture. I think the changes you made, especially rearranging the verses, bring it together nicely.

You mention only one night on the news, but it went on for at least a couple days. Maybe consider:

It was all they talked about
On the news each night
on the news for days
consuming each nights news
dominating the nightly news...



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 Posted: Tue Sep 10th, 2019 05:00 am
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LongShadows
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Thank you Andrea,

Two days out she headed south, three days out she was tracking on a beeline, and all they talked about that night. Make sense?

Of course, that explanation was whipped up after the fact and mostly academic, anyway.

I needed the line to end with 'night' because it's a soft rhyme for 'died'. I considered 'one night' for a minute but liked 'that night' more and thought adding syllables would monkey up the meter so I dismissed other variations tried. I'll have to claim artistic license on this one.

Last edited on Tue Sep 10th, 2019 05:04 am by LongShadows



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 Posted: Tue Sep 10th, 2019 12:12 pm
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Andrea
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I guess these lines lead me to believe it was in the new for a few days days. A nit pick for sure.

"Two days out she headed south, three days out she was tracking on a beeline"

and all they talked about each night? Still rhymes :)



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