The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

Time For Her To Fly
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Sun Sep 1st, 2019 10:28 pm
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
jdtaper
Member
 

Joined: Sun Dec 25th, 2016
Location: Milwaukee, USA
Posts: 307
Favorite Artist: Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Garth Brooks
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Verse 1:

Her heart was broken

When his hands met her face

It wasn’t love

She had to get out of that place

She wasn’t sure where she would

But anywhere was better

Anywhere was better than there

Chorus:
Time for her to fly

Find herself and live again

Time for her to fly

Start over and be happy again

Time for her to fly

Verse 2:

She doesn’t think about

All the bruises and mean words

She says out loud:

“I’m done feeling this hurt”

It’s all just a lesson learned

She’s not going

Not going back there

Chorus:

Bridge:

She looks in the mirror

Leaves the past behind

Smiles for a long time

She knows she’s gonna be alright

This is her time

Yeah, this is her time

Chorus (x2):

Last edited on Mon Sep 2nd, 2019 12:05 am by jdtaper



____________________
My music is 50% Country, 50% Pop/Rock (25% Rock and 25% Pop).
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sun Sep 1st, 2019 11:14 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
bunnythesinger
Member


Joined: Fri Aug 2nd, 2019
Location: Central Midlands, South Carolina USA
Posts: 440
Favorite Artist: John Prine, Steve Goodman,Meatloaf, Hall&Oates, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Wineh
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
JD, very tough subject, handled nicely.

Bunny



____________________
"People always ask me what I write first, words or lyrics...and I always say, Yes." Martin Mull
Back To Top


 Posted: Sun Sep 1st, 2019 11:36 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 656
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Lyle Lovett, Billie Holiday, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hi JD,
This is pretty good. You may want to add a chorus after verse 2, sandwiching the bridge between choruses.

Charles



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Back To Top 


 Posted: Tue Sep 3rd, 2019 12:39 am
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 5828
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Looking pretty good JD.

You might make "hands" singular as in
When his hand met her face
to emphasize the violence more

In the chorus, the repeat on "again" didn't feel quite right. I'd take a second look there. Maybe:
Make a brand new start and then

but otherwise it all flows nicely.



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
Back To Top


 Posted: Mon Oct 7th, 2019 10:06 am
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
SongWriterJoe
Member


Joined: Thu Mar 22nd, 2018
Location: Eugene, Oregon USA
Posts: 254
Favorite Artist: Randy Travis, Garth Brooks, The Monkees, The Beatles, Santana, 3 ...
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
First verse was good, you lost the rhyme scheme on the 2nd..



____________________
"I'm not sure if my heart is in my music - or my music is in my heart!"
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Oct 11th, 2019 04:21 pm
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
M.P. Dudash
Contributor


Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1165
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
I am a: Other
Status: 
Offline
JD, wondering if the inspiration for this came from Martina McBrides Independence Day? Overall I like it! One suggestion would be to change the 2nd again in the chorus to something else possibly. Good work



____________________
Takamine GN71CE Sunburst
Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Oct 11th, 2019 04:23 pm
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
jdtaper
Member
 

Joined: Sun Dec 25th, 2016
Location: Milwaukee, USA
Posts: 307
Favorite Artist: Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Garth Brooks
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
It was definitely inspired by those empowering songs she's known for! Thanks for noticing! :)



____________________
My music is 50% Country, 50% Pop/Rock (25% Rock and 25% Pop).
Back To Top 


Current time is 06:42 am

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1677 seconds (15% database + 85% PHP). 27 queries executed.