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Don’t Know What
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Fri Aug 23rd, 2019 01:08 am
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cmaja
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Don’t Know What
AABA
Don’t know what... what is next, what to text
Can’t put words in a line of any kind
Don’t know what to do, I’m without you
Can’t find my plans... no plans, no follow through

Don’t know what... what to say, lost my way
Can’t say I know of what once was love
Don’t know what to think, I need a shrink
Can’t feel my hands... no hands, I’m on the brink

Bridge:
Once life was fun, we were as one, we went everywhere, a perfect pair
Did we disagree, seek to be free, was it an affair, where did we err

Don’t know what... what to eat, what to tweet
Can’t make heels nor head of what I said
Don’t know where to start to heal my heart
Can’t feel your love... no love, since we’re apart

Coda:
Don’t know what, don’t know what...
Don’t know what

© 2019 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Sat Feb 8th, 2020 08:50 pm by cmaja



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 Posted: Sat Aug 24th, 2019 11:36 pm
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bunnythesinger
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Love the song Charles...

As a singer...the line

Can'f say I know of what was once love,

Might be a nightmare with three straight "W" sounds..they tend to slow me down a bit...unfortunately... lyrically, I really like the line.

Nice write...

Bunny



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 Posted: Sat Aug 24th, 2019 11:36 pm
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bunnythesinger
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Love the song Charles...

As a singer...the line

Can'f say I know of what was once love,

Might be a nightmare with three straight "W" sounds..they tend to slow me down a bit...unfortunately... lyrically, I really like the line.

Nice write...

Bunny



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"People always ask me what I write first, words or lyrics...and I always say, Yes." Martin Mull
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 Posted: Sun Aug 25th, 2019 02:48 am
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RainyDayMan
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Charles I like this, but I think it needs a stronger hook.
Maybe you could double up on the "Don't know what" phrase to make it like:
Don’t know what, don't know what is next, what to text

something for the ear to latch on to?



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 Posted: Mon Aug 26th, 2019 04:06 pm
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cmaja
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Hey RD Man,
Let me reflect on your suggestion. “Don’t know what” is repeated six times. Maybe a coda? I don’t know what!

Charles



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 Posted: Thu Feb 6th, 2020 06:30 am
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
Charles I like this, but I think it needs a stronger hook.
Maybe you could double up on the "Don't know what" phrase to make it like:
Don’t know what, don't know what is next, what to text

something for the ear to latch on to?


Okay, RD Man... I noticed I hadn’t responded to your suggestion. My bad. I changed the verses slightly and added a coda. Check it out!


Charles



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 Posted: Thu Feb 6th, 2020 06:57 am
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RainyDayMan
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Well that certainly re-enforces it.



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 Posted: Sat Feb 8th, 2020 08:53 pm
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cmaja
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bunnythesinger wrote:
Love the song Charles...

As a singer...the line

Can't say I know of what was once love,

Might be a nightmare with three straight "W" sounds..they tend to slow me down a bit...unfortunately... lyrically, I really like the line.

Nice write...

Bunny


Hey, Bunny... I changed that line to:

Can’t say I know of what once was love

Does that make it easier?

Charles



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