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Straighter Road
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat Jul 27th, 2019 09:36 pm
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moptop
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Here's one I've been working with for a while. Please let me know what you think. Lyrics are posted below

Thanks, Moptop


https://soundcloud.com/user-296202890/straighter-road


Straighter Road
Words and Music
Dominick B. Giarraputo
Copyright © 2009

V1
It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was still at home
Surrounded by my family and my friends
But then I heard a distant song one I knew I should ignore
I turned my back and headed down this road

Chorus
Maybe there’s a straighter road that I should be traveling
There are no signs to show me the way
Maybe there’s a better life that I should be living
Then maybe I can fine my way back home

V2
Many times I’ve made that vow
To end my wandering ways
And get back home to the one’s I love
but then I hear that call again
Much stronger than before
I pack my bags and off I go again

To Chorus

Bridge
I should have listened long ago
When I was told I could come back home
But stubborn me just wouldn’t believe
The road I was taking was wrong.

V3
This road has all but ruined me
I’m not the guy I used to be
A young man in the prime of his days
Cause now I’m gray and feel’in old
With no one to call my own
I’m guess’n that’s the price I had to pay

Chorus
Maybe there’s a straighter road that I could be traveling
there are no signs to show me the way
there’s got to be a better life that I could be living
Then maybe I can fine my way back home

Chorus 2
There’s got to be straighter road that I could be traveling
There are no signs to show me the way
There’s got to be a better life that I could be living
Then maybe I can fine my way back home



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 Posted: Sun Jul 28th, 2019 01:32 am
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RainyDayMan
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Nice!

It's got quite a happy / easy listening feel for such a serious message, but I think it works for you.

The chorus and the bridge are my favorite parts.



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 Posted: Tue Jul 30th, 2019 01:42 pm
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jamestoffee
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Nice sound and delivery.

Consider clarifying the singer's desire and relationship with "home". Right now there seems to be conflicting points of view on the situation....Someone wants him home vs. no one is there now....Maybe focusing on one aspect of the time frame would give clarity on focusing on one emotional aspect instead of trying to cover multiple emotional perspectives....What do you want the listener to feel while listening to the song? What emotion is going to connect with the listener to want to hit play again to sing along?

Thanks for sharing.



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 Posted: Wed Jul 31st, 2019 11:45 am
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AnonymousLou
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Hey again, Moptop, wow a really nice voice and very charismatic opening!
-AnonymousLou



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 Posted: Fri Sep 20th, 2019 06:28 pm
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SteveAlton
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More like easy listening Country. Has a real great feel and you can drive down the highway to this

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 Posted: Sat Sep 28th, 2019 04:59 pm
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Janke
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It's "kitchy," you know? Has kind of a 50's vibe to the melody and structure. But it has a catchy potential. I could hear it as a TV show theme song.

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 Posted: Sat Sep 28th, 2019 10:07 pm
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cmaja
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You did it again, Moptop! Another sweet early ‘60 song. Keep it up! On V1, line 3, you sing “distant call” but the lyrics read “distant song.” But who cares!

Charles



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 Posted: Wed Nov 6th, 2019 01:39 am
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moptop
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Thanks everyone for your comments. Sorry taking so long in getting back with you. Daytime job and life sometimes gets in the way!

Charles, that's for pointing out the error in the lyrics. I'll correct that right away.

Janke, A TV show theme? That's quite the complement! Thanks

Steve, Yeah I can see it as a "highway song"! Cool!

A-Lou, thanks for the kudo's on the vocals. Charismatic? Never hear that before but I like it!

James, Yes, I agree with you that the timeline is a little disjointed. Once again my ability to transfer my thoughts into lyrics completely has failed me. My downfall is that I sometimes get so excited that I have what I think is a good idea and get in a rush to record something that the lyrics will suffer in the flurry! I just need to learn to slow down a think the story out before doing any recording.

RD man, Yeah, I think the bridge is the best part of the song too. Others have said the same thing. I just wish I could apply that whatever it is that it has to the rest of the song!

Thanks again everyone.



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 Posted: Mon Nov 11th, 2019 02:00 am
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bunnythesinger
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Nicely done. Very nice guitar work. Great vocals. I like the tune...it fits the lyric and thats a good thing... I have written a lot of songs where the music just didnt fit...I liked the music...liked the lyrics, just didnt like them together.

This works.

Bunny



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