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Sunrise In Your Eyes
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Jul 8th, 2019 09:43 pm
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1st Post
M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
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Our signs say, we’d be lovers, like no others
And the same goes, for what our souls, already feel
Your perfume, takes me to the place,
Of yearning and passion but also heartache
Cause I never, felt your body, close to mine

I’d take a sunrise, in your eyes, any day
Over desire, that haunts me, and never goes away
All the sunsets, that we’ve missed, are just dreams that’ve faded away
I’d take a sunrise in your eyes any day

When you looked at me, I still think there’s something left
When I looked at you, I hope I gave you proof, to what you may suspect
When we shared a sip, I think our lips, wanted so much more
Till the day I die, for wrong or right, I hope my feelings are yours

I’d take a sunrise, in your eyes, any day
Over desire, that haunts me, that never goes away
All the sunsets, that we’ve missed, are just dreams that’ve faded away
I’d take a sunrise in your eyes any day

I’d take a sunrise in your eyes
Remake the dreams that got away
I’d take a sunrise in your eyes
Any day......

I’d take a sunrise in your eyes...
Any...day...

Copyright © M.P. Dudash 7/8/2019



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 Posted: Fri Jul 12th, 2019 12:48 am
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2nd Post
RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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This one doesn't quite hit it for me.
I think that I'm not connecting with it emotionally.

I like your main line:
I’d take a sunrise, in your eyes, any day
The rhyme sounds good and should sing well and it's a nice visual too.

Other parts feel a bit wordy.

The syllable count here looks a little squished:
When I looked at you, I hope I gave you proof, to what you may suspect
But you'll know better whether it fits the pattern you have in mind.

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 Posted: Fri Jul 12th, 2019 03:04 am
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3rd Post
M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 990
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
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Thanks Owen. I think I see some need for clarifying the titles meaning as well.



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Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
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