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Gypsy
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Jun 16th, 2019 01:49 am
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Seamus
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Gold earrings contrast
with your long dark hair
those beautiful eyes sparkling
at me has I stare

you're all woman
smoking like a good whisky
you're hot and sexy
my beautiful gypsy

you dance round the fire
has people clap their hands
dancing for pennies
to the musics commands

when they've all gone home
then you come back to me
counting the coppers
thrown to my gypsy

you're all woman
smoking like a good whisky
you're hot and sexy
my beautiful gypsy

you dance for the menfolk
it puts food on the table
they call you names
try to give you a label

It's because they can't have you
it drives them insane
they try to bribe you
but you won't play their game

You're my gypsy girl
beautiful and true
it's only dancing for money
that helps get us through

you're all woman
smoking like a good whisky
you're hot and sexy
you're my beautiful gypsy

CopyrightAlanEvans16062019

Last edited on Sun Jun 16th, 2019 03:19 am by Seamus



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 Posted: Wed Jun 19th, 2019 01:38 am
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RainyDayMan
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Got a real sultry feel to it Alan, which certainly suits the lyric!

I like the opening verse. Immediately felt like something good was coming. Very strong visuals.

For what I think of as your chorus, you might consider:
you're all woman
smokey like whisky
intoxicating and sexy
my beautiful gypsy

maybe:
counting the coppers > counting the coin
only because "coppers" feels like it's undervaluing her

Still feels a little rough yet in parts, but well worth pursuing!



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 Posted: Wed Jun 19th, 2019 08:20 am
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Seamus
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Good advice once again, hopefully I'll get around to putting it right, thanks friend.



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