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My S.O.S.
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Apr 22nd, 2019 09:31 pm
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cmaja
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I like the sound of certain words which led to this lyric.

My S.O.S.
AABA
I saw her by his side
A picture of success
The love within her eyes
Attests they coalesce
So now to advertise
I’m calling to all ships, my s.o.s

I’ve been alone too long
I hope I don’t obsess
But this is my swan song
Yes, I will acquiesce
No, I won’t do him wrong
I hope he doesn’t miss, my s.o.s

Bridge:
I must confess, I’ve digressed, I’m a mess, will he heed my cry
I will aggress, I’ll resound this address, we’ll see eye-to-eye, or’s this my last goodbye

When he fulfills my song
Success, I’ll cry out yes
Then he will right my wrongs
Reverse them with finesse
Oh, please love, come along
And answer with a kiss, my s.o.s

© 2018 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Thu Aug 1st, 2019 01:24 am by cmaja



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 Posted: Mon Apr 22nd, 2019 10:10 pm
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RainyDayMan
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This has an old-fashioned urbane feel to it.
Something Fred Astaire or Bing Crosbey might sing.

I like the attitude too, that says if she is happy then I will wish them success and move on.

You might consider
or’s this my last goodbye > or it's my last goodbye

I like the S.O.S lines, but it's kind of hanging there as a metaphor without any backup.



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 Posted: Tue Apr 23rd, 2019 03:01 am
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cmaja
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Hey RD Man,
This is to be sung by a blues songstress, not a Bing or Fred. I’m thinking a Ella Fitzgerald or Billie Holiday type.

Thanks for your suggestions in the bridge, but, if I change it, then that phrase won’t be a question anymore.

I sent this lyric to one of my composers but he hasn’t done anything with it yet.

Charles



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 Posted: Tue Apr 23rd, 2019 03:03 am
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RainyDayMan
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Well I hope I didn't offend you with the Bing/Fred comment!
Obviously I can't (yet) hear what it is in your head :)
Hopefully your composer comes through and that will change.



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 Posted: Wed Jun 12th, 2019 08:08 am
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cmaja
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Yea, no offense. Sometimes I don’t know what’s in my head.

Charles



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 Posted: Wed Jun 12th, 2019 05:49 pm
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mike67
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Hi. I'm struggling to understand who you're sending the SOS to. Is it the man, hoping he'll come to your rescue by leaving her? But then, in the last verse you want the man to kiss you? Or is the SOS to both? Nothing wrong if it's a same sex thing, but I'm just a little confused. Then, I just ran 21k, so I'm not firing on all cylinders.😀



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 Posted: Wed Jun 12th, 2019 06:51 pm
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cmaja
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Hi Mike,
It’s a wish lyric. She’s hoping a man will respond to her call after seeing another woman successful in love. She hasn’t been too successful in her love life and she’s getting old; maybe late 30s, early 40s.

Charles



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 Posted: Thu Jun 13th, 2019 03:06 pm
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mike67
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Ah, OK. I get it.



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 Posted: Tue Jul 2nd, 2019 10:28 pm
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cmaja
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Gosh, Mike, I hope my lyrics aren’t that complicated. I try to make them simple.

Charles



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