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Desire
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 Posted: Sat Apr 20th, 2019 04:13 pm
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samiamiamsam
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https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120/desire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLzvAvasDUA&feature=youtu.be

This is the third song on my upcoming album titled The Endless.

Desire is the third youngest of the Endless and the twin of Despair. The anthropomorphic personification of its name, it is a strikingly beautiful, gender mutable figure, who can be male, female, both, or neither as the situation warrants. It is often referred to as "sibling" by its brethren, particularly Dream, thus avoiding the need for pronouns. Desire blends in effortlessly with whatever environment it finds itself in.

Desire is described as being of medium height, and smelling faintly of summer peaches. Desire's smiles are brief and sharp, its skin is "pale as smoke," and its eyes are "tawny and sharp as yellow wine." Desire casts two shadows, one black and sharp, the other translucent and wavering.

__________________________________________________

Desire's the one who holds your heart
And guides you through the night
A promise to you, you hope they’ll keep
And take you to the light

Come over here, I see you staring
Never say goodbye
Come over here, and drown your fears
I only ask you try

Desire befalls a lonely man
of all he has and all he thinks he wants to be...
Desire

And as he fell before the stone
The king of mean would die alone

Dissolve the stones into the sand
Deprived of all you can
Before you burn the path of everything
Desire's the sweetest taste you crave and
All the things you think you want to see
But you'll see me

And as she walked toward her throne
The queen of queens would walk alone
And as she sat upon her throne
The queen of empty sings alone

Come over here, and don't you dare
Ever say goodbye
Come over here, drown in your tears...
I only ask you try

©2019 Michael Odom

Attachment: desire.jpg (Downloaded 44 times)

Last edited on Mon May 6th, 2019 01:41 am by samiamiamsam



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 Posted: Sat Apr 20th, 2019 10:29 pm
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Motorist Sketchbook
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Wow. Very good. I like it.

The description you gave us helps to understand your treatment of certain elements.
I especially like the way the harmony vocals work with the shadow description.
Where they sit in the mix "shadows" the lead vocal nicely.

Your lyric writing is improving greatly as you go. Good to see.

The mix on this sounds great. I like the way the dynamics build as you go.
Adding the percussion and guitars.

- Sketch



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 Posted: Sun Apr 21st, 2019 08:51 pm
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Andrea
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Love it! The vocals and music really go together well. I also loved the harmony vocals.

Three awesome songs so far (Delirium, Despair and Desire). Can't wait for number 4!



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 Posted: Mon Apr 22nd, 2019 01:48 am
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samiamiamsam
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Motorist Sketchbook wrote:
Wow. Very good. I like it.

The description you gave us helps to understand your treatment of certain elements.
I especially like the way the harmony vocals work with the shadow description.
Where they sit in the mix "shadows" the lead vocal nicely.

Your lyric writing is improving greatly as you go. Good to see.

The mix on this sounds great. I like the way the dynamics build as you go.
Adding the percussion and guitars.

- Sketch



Thank you Steve. Happy to hear you liked the mix.
But it nearly got too big. I used over 40 tracks on this.
I doubt I will ever do that again. It almost got unmanageable.
I've heard that 24 is the magic number. I think that will be my goal for the next song.
Anyways, thanks for nice words.



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 Posted: Mon Apr 22nd, 2019 01:54 am
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samiamiamsam
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Andrea wrote:
Love it! The vocals and music really go together well. I also loved the harmony vocals.

Three awesome songs so far (Delirium, Despair and Desire). Can't wait for number 4!


Thanks for listening and the comments Andrea.
I'm somewhat happy with the harmonies too. (never completely satisfied with my vocals). I did 172 vocal takes for this.
My software does a count on how many takes per track.
I spent close to a month just on vocals. It's crazy. lol
Yep, 3 down and 4 to go.
I haven't decided on which to do next. I think either Destruction or Dream.
Anyways, thanks again. I'm glad you liked it.



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 Posted: Fri Apr 26th, 2019 12:43 pm
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samiamiamsam
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Sorry to bump my thread, but I have remixed this song.
Wasn’t satisfied with the original mix. Hopefully you can check out the newest version.
Thanks!

https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120/desire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLzvAvasDUA&feature=youtu.be

I edited the original post, but here are the new links.

Last edited on Fri Apr 26th, 2019 12:46 pm by samiamiamsam



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 Posted: Fri Apr 26th, 2019 11:31 pm
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RainyDayMan
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I prefer the new mix.

I'm in the minority here though, in that this is not my favorite of yours. The verses seem to have a droning feel to me based on the minor chords, longer notes and short tonal steps in the melody. The chorus has more melodic leaps and variation so I like that more.

I suspect this is more about the kind of songs I like than the quality of your track though!

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 Posted: Sat Apr 27th, 2019 10:38 am
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jamestoffee
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Interesting work on the arrangement. It’s hinting at menacing, but not quite….maybe gothic; which seems to work

The shifts in POV and who the singer/singee is are challenging to follow.

For example:
you hope they’ll keep (Who is they?)
Come over here, I see you staring (Shift in POV from 3rd person to 1st)

All the things you think you want to see…But you'll see me (Shift in POV from 3rd person to 2nd)

Considering using only one device to identify desire for clarity
Desire's the one who holds your heart (personification)
Versus
A promise to you (metaphor)
Versus
Desire befalls a lonely man (abstract noun)
Versus
Desire's the sweetest taste you crave (metaphor)
Versus
The Queen of Queens would walk alone (personification)…..also misaligns with holding your hand AND walking alone

Consider focusing the imagery to a step outline / beat sheet https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Step_outline

take you to the light…does not match destination of….he fell before the stone….or the destination of...she sat upon her throne

Consider more emphasis of the title in the song. Without seeing the words, I would have no idea what the title was.

Thanks for sharing.

James



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 Posted: Sat Apr 27th, 2019 04:36 pm
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samiamiamsam
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RainyDayMan wrote:
I prefer the new mix.

I'm in the minority here though, in that this is not my favorite of yours. The verses seem to have a droning feel to me based on the minor chords, longer notes and short tonal steps in the melody. The chorus has more melodic leaps and variation so I like that more.

I suspect this is more about the kind of songs I like than the quality of your track though!


Thanks for the listen and feedback Owen.
I appreciate your honesty.



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 Posted: Thu May 9th, 2019 03:55 pm
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highvibrational
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Wow. Interesting take on the essence of desire, which has a dark underbelly. I envision a video or film with goth elements and menacing creatures. Have you thought about writing a narrative?



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 Posted: Sat May 11th, 2019 01:02 pm
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samiamiamsam
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highvibrational wrote:
Wow. Interesting take on the essence of desire, which has a dark underbelly. I envision a video or film with goth elements and menacing creatures. Have you thought about writing a narrative?

Thanks for the feedback Paulina.
This is about as close to a narrative as I've ever done.
I think I'm more suited for the abstract.
Where the listeners can interpret different meanings of a song.
I appreciate you taking the time to listen to my music.



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 Posted: Sat May 11th, 2019 10:50 pm
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RainyDayMan
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samiamiamsam wrote:I think I'm more suited for the abstract.
Where the listeners can interpret different meanings of a song.


This is a bit of an aside, but there was a mathematician named Godel who proved that formal mathematical systems are never complete. There will always be truths that aren't provable within it. Informally this is also sometimes interpreted as meaning that truth and meaning are brought into the system by someone outside by finding parallels or mappings rather than inherent to it. Makes me wonder if the same is true of songs!

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 Posted: Sun May 12th, 2019 08:12 pm
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samiamiamsam
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RainyDayMan wrote:
samiamiamsam wrote:I think I'm more suited for the abstract.
Where the listeners can interpret different meanings of a song.


This is a bit of an aside, but there was a mathematician named Godel who proved that formal mathematical systems are never complete. There will always be truths that aren't provable within it. Informally this is also sometimes interpreted as meaning that truth and meaning are brought into the system by someone outside by finding parallels or mappings rather than inherent to it. Makes me wonder if the same is true of songs!


That's very interesting Owen. And I think so.
Certain lyrics can be interpreted many different ways.
Such as, Smells Like Teen Spirit. What is that song really about?
I've heard that Cobain didn't even know what it was about.
I don't think everything has to be crystal clear.


Last edited on Sun May 12th, 2019 09:32 pm by samiamiamsam



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Here is my YouTube and SoundCloud page with some of my original music.

https://www.youtube.com/user/odomodometer
https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120
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