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Despair
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 Posted: Sat Mar 9th, 2019 11:29 pm
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samiamiamsam
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https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120/despair
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUa0r6oIX4A&t

de·spair
noun
the complete loss or absence of hope
"in despair, I hit the bottle"
synonyms: hopelessness, desperation, distress, anguish, pain, unhappiness....

verb
lose or be without hope
"we should not despair"
synonyms: lose hope, give up hope, abandon hope, give up, lose heart, be discouraged, be despondent, be demoralized, resign oneself, throw in the towel, quit...
_____________ ___________________ ___________________

Finally got around to redoing a demo I posted here a while ago.
The song was originally called Dolora, but the name is now Despair.
It is the second song on my upcoming Endless album.

This is not a happy song. But it is honest.

_______________ _____________________ ________________

You can kill me slowly while I bleed
Assassinate my notion while I plead
Hide your calloused speculation
Recreate associations
I’m left in doubt ...
All alone
All along

Every time I dream
Of places in between
Going up and through and under
Through obscene, enhancing wonders
And they all laughed ...
All along
All along

My problem has always been internally
Far below aloft in secrecy
Because I’m dumb and I’m blind

Pulled me underwater while I drowned
Stabbed me in the back while I was down
Thinking I was what I’m not
Conditions are just, I deserved what I got
I lived a lie ...
All along
All alone

©2019 Michael Odom

Attachment: 934213-photo1.jpg (Downloaded 19 times)

Last edited on Wed Mar 13th, 2019 02:05 am by samiamiamsam



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 Posted: Sun Mar 10th, 2019 03:19 am
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Motorist Sketchbook
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Good work, Sam.
This works with the other song you have. (Delirium)
The mix on this sounds darker and rougher for some reason.
Maybe that goes with the theme of the song?

This is a step forward on lyrics for you.
More developed than on previous submissions.

And the vocals are up in the mix. Which is good.
The harmony vocals might need some more mixing. (add reverb?)
They clash at times. But that may have been
what you were going for. Vocal harmonies
remind me of Alice in Chains.

I like the interplay of guitar and keyboard on this.
Could have used some electric guitar.
But maybe it is there but sounds like acoustic? (strumming)
If so, it could use a more electric guitar sound.
If there is percussion on this, it is hard to hear it.

Here's something that may need some attention.
I notice that the main part of these songs and melodies seem
to ride a repeated I-IV chord progression. As you go
forward you probably want to expand your chord progressions
into some new territory. And when you use the I-IV chord
combination find a more innovative melody line.

- Sketch

Last edited on Sun Mar 10th, 2019 03:20 am by Motorist Sketchbook



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 Posted: Sun Mar 10th, 2019 04:02 am
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samiamiamsam
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Motorist Sketchbook wrote:
Good work, Sam.
This works with the other song you have. (Delirium)
The mix on this sounds darker and rougher for some reason.
Maybe that goes with the theme of the song?

This is a step forward on lyrics for you.
More developed than on previous submissions.

And the vocals are up in the mix. Which is good.
The harmony vocals might need some more mixing. (add reverb?)
They clash at times. But that may have been
what you were going for. Vocal harmonies
remind me of Alice in Chains.

I like the interplay of guitar and keyboard on this.
Could have used some electric guitar.
But maybe it is there but sounds like acoustic? (strumming)
If so, it could use a more electric guitar sound.
If there is percussion on this, it is hard to hear it.

Here's something that may need some attention.
I notice that the main part of these songs and melodies seem
to ride a repeated I-IV chord progression. As you go
forward you probably want to expand your chord progressions
into some new territory. And when you use the I-IV chord
combination find a more innovative melody line.

- Sketch



Thanks for giving it a listen and the detailed feedback.
Yeah, I chose to have a more raw, darker mix on this because of the subject matter.
There's no electric guitar on this, I did it all on my Taylor.
And no percussion at all. I couldn't find anything that fit, so I chose to leave it all out.
Yeah, I think the harmonies clash a little too, but subconsciously, I think that was what I was going for, if that makes any sense. Because it's such a depressing song.
The entire song rides a basic 2 chord progression. Em and Am.
The only time I change is on the bridge. G, D, and then back to Am.
It's about as simple as it gets, really.
But this is something that wrote a long time ago. I think my songwriting has progressed since this.
Hopefully it shows on my next song, Desire.
You have given me a lot to think about and to consider.
Thanks man!



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Here is my YouTube and SoundCloud page with some of my original music.

https://www.youtube.com/user/odomodometer
https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120
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 Posted: Sun Mar 10th, 2019 10:07 am
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RainyDayMan
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I like this, but I think it really hits its straps at the break after the bridge where the synth really kicks in.
I would like to hear that in the verses too. I found just the guitars a little too thin. Good for the intro, but I think it needs to build sooner to a fuller sound.

This is not a happy song
You can say that again. But this song is called "Despair" so it is certainly appropriate :)

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 Posted: Sun Mar 10th, 2019 09:52 pm
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samiamiamsam
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Thanks for the listen and feedback Owen. Definitely not my best work. Hopefully my next song will impress.



____________________
Here is my YouTube and SoundCloud page with some of my original music.

https://www.youtube.com/user/odomodometer
https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120
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 Posted: Tue Mar 12th, 2019 05:48 pm
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Andrea
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You have a fan in me. The music resembles Delirium which I like.

The lyrics are awesome. In my opinion I think you should sing the words with a little harder/ more aggressive sound. That is just how I hear the words when I read them.


Can't wait to hear the third song!



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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 12:53 am
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samiamiamsam
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Joined: Mon Jun 18th, 2018
Location: Charlotte , North Carolina USA
Posts: 451
Favorite Artist: Beatles, Pink Floyd, Leadbelly, Nirvana, REM, Leonard Cohen, Robert Johnson
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Online
Thanks for the feedback Andrea.
Glad you like the lyrics. That means a lot coming from you.
I like your idea of a more aggressive singing.
I'll probably use your idea somewhere on the album.
I might do a Despair prelude or something, but with bigger vocals and stronger guitars.
Similar to the original, but very different.
You got me thinking. And that's good. Thanks!



____________________
Here is my YouTube and SoundCloud page with some of my original music.

https://www.youtube.com/user/odomodometer
https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120
Back To Top 


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