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The money tree
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2019 11:34 am
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Seamus
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The money tree

My Pa was out of work
when I was a little boy
I remember what he said to me
when I asked him for a toy

he said look in the garden
tell me what you see
all you need is hiding
it's behind the money tree

well I searched that garden
morning, noon and night
I dreamt about treasure finding
I was back out at daylight

well the years soon passed
and into a man I'd grown
soon I had a wife
and a young son of my own

It wasn't long before he came to me
and asked me for a toy
I remembered what my Pa had said
when I was just a boy

times had changed for the better
I was doing real good
I looked into the garden
I couldn't see trees for wood

I'll buy you a toy son
maybe two or three
I still have enough left over
from my Papa's money tree

I smiled to myself
has I drove on into town
thinking of what my Papa said
trying not to let me down

he said look in the garden
tell me what you see
all you need is hiding
it's behind the money tree

CopyrightAlanEvans11012019

Last edited on Sat Jan 12th, 2019 01:35 pm by Seamus



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 02:14 am
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Motorist Sketchbook
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I really like this one.
I love the story and the trans-generational time frame.
A few minor tweaks and you're good to go.

Was it an actual money tree? (or what they call a money tree)
I'm assuming the story is true.

- Sketch


Last edited on Sat Jan 12th, 2019 02:14 am by Motorist Sketchbook



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 05:57 pm
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samiamiamsam
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That's really good Seamus. Good job man!



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 06:26 pm
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Seamus
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Last edited on Sat Jan 12th, 2019 06:28 pm by Seamus



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 06:26 pm
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Seamus
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Not a word of truth to it friend, I'm afraid that I make things up. the money tree as I remember as a kid was a fictional tree that grew money, parents would say I'll just go get some money off the tree.



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 06:29 pm
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Seamus
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Thanks for looking and commenting friend.



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 06:55 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Good idea Alan, I like the concept of this one.



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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 09:58 pm
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RainyDayMan
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I like the story here Alan. And it has a good feel to it.

Structurally, as a song, I think it would be better to add a chorus and lose a verse or two.

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 Posted: Sat Jan 12th, 2019 10:10 pm
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Seamus
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Thanks for looking friend.



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 Posted: Sun Jan 13th, 2019 01:35 am
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Andrea
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I really like this one Seamus. Very warm and endearing. I read yesterday, and it stuck in my mind. Super good.



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 Posted: Sun Jan 13th, 2019 09:46 am
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Seamus
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Muchas gracias senorita.



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