The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank  
AuthorPost
M.P. Dudash
Contributor


Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1164
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
I am a: Other
Status: 
Offline
I've stared down my demons and I've
Looked in an angels eyes
The very one that makes me happy also brings
Heartache at the same time

My souls been on display
Since the day, you walked into my life
And I face a happy heartache
When I look into your eyes

I'm face to face with the wanting
To know what could have been
Face to face with every reason
That I'll never understand

I can't except the fact that I
May never get the chance to know
What its like to make love to you
As I look into your soul

Why does dying seem easier to me
Than living with the unknown
Of what it is that I also mean to you
Is it time to let go

Is it time I look away
And move on with my life
Maybe I'm the only one that lives
With this emptiness inside

I face a happy heartache
When I look into your eyes
Do you live a life like I do
Of thinking about us all the time

Seeing you makes me happy
So why does heartache win the fight
I hope you know you've always been the one
That's brought meaning to my life

Yes I face a happy heartache
When I look into your eyes

Copyright M.P. Dudash 1/9/2019

Last edited on Wed Jan 9th, 2019 05:53 pm by M.P. Dudash

RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 5813
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
"Happy heartache" is a great hook and title.

I think you've gone a little dark here though.
There's room for this to be a happier, lighter song.
More along the lines of "I'll never understand you but I love you anyway".

When you get to "dying seems easier" that feels depressing to me and unnecessarily so.

Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 928
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
There's a good concept here.
But the lyrics just aren't engaging.
They seem to lack cohesion.
Seems a bit disjointed.

This lacks that magic quality I see in your other work.

You are a good writer.
With more effort you could make this work.
But you'll have to decide whether you want to invest
the time or move on to something else.

Maybe you are facing a happy heartache with these lyrics.

- Sketch

M.P. Dudash
Contributor


Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1164
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
I am a: Other
Status: 
Offline
Thanks guys! Seems the message I tried to convey is lacking. Thanks for the input. On to the next venture.


UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1414 seconds (7% database + 93% PHP). 25 queries executed.