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| Posted: Fri Dec 7th, 2018 05:32 am |
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James_Stuart
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Hello!
I write songs, but find writing lyrics quite difficult… so I’m looking for someone good with poetry who might like to help.
I’m most interested in creating songs that are anti-war, but am also keen to create decent pop songs too, about anything really.
Here’s a link to my soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jamesstuart/not-alone
How it would work: I’d send you a full recorded song, with some temporary lyrics, which you can then try and rewrite. And I’ll re-record the song with your lyrics.
If we end up managing to create something that we really like, I may record it professionally.
James 
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| Posted: Fri Dec 7th, 2018 04:25 pm |
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Marty Ray Boone
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Dear James! I would be, oh, so happy to work with you! My best song ever that was recorded as a demo in Nashville Tennessee is about dancing and named, "Dancin' in the night". My favorite Spanish song by Carlos Santana is called, "Guajira" and it is about bailando! Meaning: "Dancing" in English. I wrote a song in Spanish on here called, "Bailando en la noche" that means "Dancin' in the night" also. I think it is in the pop/rock section of the lyrics lounge. I think I will bring it back up for people to read. Peace
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Marty Ray Boone, now seeking God's will for my life and asking if I may serve him as a gospel bass singer and singer of harmonies in that form of music! I thank Holy God for my voice! Near perfect pitch as well, guidance for my fingers on that piano, AMEN
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31st, 2019 02:22 am |
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JestersDespair
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Hi James.
I just had a listen to your song and I've got to say that the music was beautiful...and so were the lyrics.
I'm fairly new to songwriting...I'm a musically illiterate poet, but recently have been trying to see if that skill? talent?? can be transferred to lyric writing. I've posted a couple of samples of my work...give them a read and if you think we might be compatible let me know.
Again, beautiful song, man.
Cheers, J.D.
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| Posted: Fri Feb 1st, 2019 01:15 am |
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SongWriterJoe
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Muy bien hecho. I'm fairly good at Spanish myself, but I'm afraid my lyrics wouldn't be as polished as they could be "en ese lengua".
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| Posted: Fri Feb 1st, 2019 08:21 pm |
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Seamus
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I really enjoyed your song friend, I have some songs on here dealing with war amongst many other topics, let me know if you'd like to see any or you can contact me at alanjack9797@outlook.com
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I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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| Posted: Sat Feb 2nd, 2019 10:00 am |
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Seamus
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Hers a sample for your perusal.
Ban all the wars
ban all the guns
we'll never find peace
killing each others sons
there has to be a better way
without all the death
watching tearful mothers
who gave their child breath
Ban all the wars
ban all the guns
we'll never find peace
killing each others sons
cold wooden suits
covered by red white and blue
like watching a movie
if its not happening to you
Ban all the wars
ban all the guns
we'll never find peace
killing each others sons
hey Mr congressman
I wonder if you even care
you're so disconnected
coz your son's not out there
Ban all the wars
ban all the guns
we'll never find peace
killing each others sons
CopyrightAlanEvans30122018
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I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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| Posted: Sat Feb 2nd, 2019 06:37 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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Dogs Of War
Copyright © 2019
Joseph A. Givens
{Sung like a battle hymn}
{Deliberate, with feeling}
.
{Open with military style drum style cadence}
V1
The race of Man is a curious one
Their beliefs differ in many ways
And they don't always do what's right
Though it can shorten up their days
Brave and strong the warriors stand
Behind fearsome armor head to toe
Their masters taught them all too well
How to deal deadly and crippling blows
The ones who sent them off to fight
They stay safe and sound far behind
And trying to survive yet another day?
The furtherest thing from their minds!
{CHORUS}
We pray to our Great Almighty God..
For the day when we hear no more..
Of the all-consuming battlecry:
{Shouting In Many Voices In Unison}
"Cry havoc; let slip the dogs of war!"
{Bridge to V2)
V2
The proud parents send their sons
And daughters off to bloody war
Many cant seem to understand
They won't see them anymore.
Such a great price to pay for profit!
Not even for freedom do they fight.
No, it's the mighty dollar, euro..
and yen costing their young lives.
It's a shame it has to be like this
Doesn't seem like man will learn
And never will it seems as long
As his lust for war still burns.
{Battle Drum Cadence}
{TO CHORUS - THEN END}Last edited on Mon Feb 4th, 2019 04:13 am by SongWriterJoe
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"I'm not sure if my heart is in my music - or my music is in my heart!"
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| Posted: Sat Feb 2nd, 2019 08:34 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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I really like your 2nd and 4th quartets. Very poignant, Alan. Last edited on Sat Feb 2nd, 2019 08:37 pm by SongWriterJoe
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| Posted: Sun Feb 16th, 2020 10:05 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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And daughters off to bloody war
Many cant seem to understand
They won't see them anymore.
Such a great price to pay for profit!
Not even for freedom do they fight.
No, it's the mighty dollar, euro..
and yen costing their young lives.
It's a shame it has to be like this
Doesn't seem like man will learn
And never will it seems as long
As his lust for war still burns.
<<<< this verse is a „bloody“ great one! I d love to read/hear more us ppl doing great stuff like that! Just sayin!
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Sun Feb 16th, 2020 11:07 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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Thanks, RK. Glad you enjoyed it. One question though.. what does the last sentence in your tagline mean?
Last edited on Sun Feb 16th, 2020 11:14 pm by SongWriterJoe
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| Posted: Sun Feb 16th, 2020 11:13 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Yvw! Intact it reminded me of a song we have over here. By one of my most fave local artists. It was written during the first golf-war
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Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Sun Feb 16th, 2020 11:49 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Find somebody that may help me with that.....<<< if that’s what u wanted to know.
Btw I took a few min and translated the lyrics I was talking about into English....
How many years have to pass by
Johnny writes
Dad, why am I here
In the hot desert sand
Ok I know, I am here and sweat for my homeland
But dad, it ain’t easy
My hand is shaking while I’m writing
And I’m afraid that I’ll never ever
Be home on the beach with you
Johnny writes, how is Sue?
Is she still waiting for me?
Oh please, give her a Kiss from me
I couldn’t take it without her
Dear mum, yesterday we had an alarm
And I started thinking
How it may be if a Coffin arrives home
And inside there’s a torn up hero
How many years have to pass by
When will even the last one understand
How many years have to pass by
What needs to happen
What needs to happen
Johnny writes
Dad I’m not sure anymore
If this here is justice
Well ok there are enough enemies
But do you think all here are bad?
The president wished us luck
I think he meant it well
But what’s the use of it if I have killed
And a stranger‘s mother cries
How many years have to pass by...
Quick victory
Justice is made out of oil and power
Weapon been tested, not many ppl are lost
It was a quiet good battle
They backslapping on each other’s necks
They have proven who they are
And get much cash out of the rebuilding
And inside of the plane arriving home, there’s a simple coffin
Johnny doesn’t write anymore
How many years have to pass by...
Tell me how long is this going to work out?
And tell me why there still is so much blood?
How many years have to pass by
What needs to happen?
When will they understand?
Songwriter: Hartmut Engler / Jean Jacques Kravetz / Peter Maffay
Copyrighted!
Translated by myself
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:14 am |
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SongWriterJoe
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They're slapping each other on the back
Now tell me.. why is there still so much blood?
If you like I could rewrite all this into standard English. My first co-writer was Carsten Jessen from Gemany, btw.
Cheers,
SWJLast edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:15 am by SongWriterJoe
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:13 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Slap someone on the back or shoulder is a typical reaction for...we’ve done it! Or: well done!!, here. If I translate this stuff I need to stay close to the original lines...so that u can understand it but I won’t „americanise“ it...
But if u like to work on this ...all yours. Was just a Midnight translation of a song that’ has already been a big hit here...
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:29 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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No problem. As I said, when I write in my 2nd language (Spanish) I run into translation "anomalies" as well. One of my favorite songs, The Girl From Ipanema, a Brazilian Portuguese song, was rewritten completely when they did an English version, because the rhymes and exact translation wouldn't have sounded right. I ha e one I tried to translate into Spanish and some words just wouldn't work, like "shining", "wonderous", etc. I had to use other words and phrases to convert the same things.
wondrous transliterated to marvellous 'maravilloso' and shining became 'brillante' or brilliant. Not exact, but apparently close enoughLast edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:31 pm by SongWriterJoe
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 03:42 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Yep that’s one good point u ve mentioned. But as I say if I want to „introduce“ you to a german song...I’ll stick to the real lines as close as possible. It’s not written to sing it over there....if I’d plan to bring it into the charts there...I would have to re-work it like u did with your Spanish example. To make it „sing-able“ in the other language.
But as I said to me there is a difference in just translate it...so that u get the „real“ meaning of the original lyrics (even if it’s not the way americans would write it)...and re-write it for the us-market.
Hope u get what im tryin to say....😉
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 04:24 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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Oh yes. Maybe I'll post the "German version" of my song and give you a chuckle? As we say here.. "Just for ***s an' giggles"
Titel: In deinen Augen
Songtexte von Joe Givens
Copyright 2010-2017
In deinen Augen kann ich sehen - so viele wundersame Dinge ..
Wie helles funkelndes Sternenlicht und Mondglühen ... auf den Flügeln eines Engels!
Und Liebling, in deinen Augen kann ich sehen ... das Zeug magischer Träume ...
Wie blaue Ozeane tiefer als Azurblau. Es ist alles da, Liebe. Ja, genau dort, Liebe.
In deinen Augen ... scheint in deinen Augen!
(Zu unterlassen)
Vers 2
Oh Liebling ... in deinen Augen bete ich, dass du eines Tages ... die gleiche Art von Magie finden wirst, die ich fühle, wenn deine Augen meine treffen.
Und Liebling, in deinen Augen kann ich sehen, dass nichts anderes vergleichbar ist ... mit diesem wunderbaren Gefühl in mir ... in meinem Herzen ... in meiner Seele ... weil du da bist! So tief in meinem Herzen!
(Alternative Zeile: Tief in meinem Herzen!)
Refrain (Haken)
Was kann ich jetzt sagen?
Wie kann ich dir sagen, was ich tief in mir fühle?
Was kann ich tun .. mein Lieber?
Und wie kann das sein ... nur Träume, wenn es sich so real anfühlt, wenn man in deine Augen schaut? In deine Augen!
(Alternativer Vers: Nur ein Traum, wenn er sich so real anfühlt.
1. Mal: wie ich mich in diesen Augen verliere .. magische wundervolle Augen!
(Zu Vers 2
2. Mal: Wenn ich sein könnte .. in deinen Augen!
(Alternatives Ende: Ich wünschte, ich könnte ... in deinen Augen sein!)
(ENDE)
I gotta admit, Google didn't do too bad.
Retranslated to English: *NOT ORIGINAL LYRICS*
Title: In your eyes
Joe Givens lyrics
Copyright 2010-2017
I can see in your eyes - so many wonderful things ..
Like bright sparkling starlight and moon glow ... on the wings of an angel!
And darling, in your eyes I can see ... the stuff of magical dreams ...
Like blue oceans deeper than azure. Everything is there, love. Yes, right there, love.
In your eyes ... shines in your eyes!
(To stop)
Verse 2
Oh darling ... in your eyes I pray that one day you will find ... the same kind of magic that I feel when your eyes hit mine.
And darling, in your eyes I can see that nothing else can be compared ... with this wonderful feeling in me ... in my heart ... in my soul ... because you are there! So deep in my heart!
(Alternative line: Deep in my heart!)
Refrain (hook)
What can i say now
How can I tell you what I feel deep inside?
What can i do .. my dear?
And how can that be ... only dreams if it feels so real when you look into your eyes? In your eyes!
(Alternative verse: only a dream if it feels so real.
1st time: how I lose myself in these eyes .. magical wonderful eyes!
(To verse 2
2nd time: If I could be .. in your eyes!
(Alternative ending: I wish I could be ... in your eyes!)
(THE END)
Last edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 04:33 pm by SongWriterJoe
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 04:32 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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 well I don’t think that I would laugh...I would work on and try to make out what you really want to tell me by your lyrics. But I d enjoy reading any of your stuff that’s for sure. I don’t care if it’s English or german. 😉
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Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 04:39 pm |
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RainbowKeeper
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Well u must have been thinking of one special person while u wrote this.
The German lines aren’t even that bad. I can understand everything. The one strange thing about it is the comments beside the lyrics. I really had to think twice about the word „Haken“ ....like wth does a fishing guy has to do with all of this...but then I realized that it’s „hook“...for hookline....rofl that’s a word even we Germans added to our vocabulary... so it was a Bit strange to read „about the fishing guy“ at first....😂
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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters
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| Posted: Mon Feb 17th, 2020 05:00 pm |
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SongWriterJoe
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I was thinking of an ex-girlfriend. I knew there had to be a few weird phrases in there.. like the use of the word "hit". Anyway this was just for fun. And since the lyrics were my own to begin with.. can't get in trouble!
SWJLast edited on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 05:02 pm by SongWriterJoe
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