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I've Had These Feelings for A While
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 Posted: Thu Oct 11th, 2018 04:54 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
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Baby sit down
Take a load off
Let's pour a glass of wine
And just talk

No telephones
No big TV
Just you and I together
And honesty

Not a single ear to hear
Except for our own
Let my words take you places
You never dreamed you'd go

With every breath I breathe I swear I think about you
When my heart beats, I can see
Your eyes and perfect smile

I brought you here, to make it clear
And erase any doubt
You know I've had these feelings for a while

Let me go back
To the first place
I laid eyes upon an angel
And met fate

I knew at first glance
That someday we'd be
Talking bout forever
Discussing destiny

So here we finally sit
Letting inhibitions go
Expressing all our hearts
And revealing all our souls

With every breath I breathe I swear I think about you
When my heart beats, I can see
Your eyes and perfect smile

I brought you here, to make it clear
And erase any doubt
You know I've had these feelings for a while

Yes you know I've had these feelings for a while

Copyright 10/11/2018 M.P. Dudash

Last edited on Thu Oct 11th, 2018 04:55 pm by M.P. Dudash



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 Posted: Thu Oct 11th, 2018 11:17 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
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I see two tones in this one. The first is the direct conversational style of the first two verses.
The second is the more poetic declarations of love in lines like:
I laid eyes upon an angel
And met fate


I'm not convinced they work well together.
After:
Just you and I together
And honesty

the more dramatic lines don't feel quite right, though there is nothing in the lyric to suggest the narrator is not being honest.

But I don't get that reaction from:
With every breath I breathe I swear I think about you
When my heart beats, I can see
Your eyes and perfect smile

I like that, and it seems to fit. So I think it's down to the style.

So if it was me, I would look for ways to articulate love that are more down to earth and conversational in tone.

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 Posted: Thu Oct 11th, 2018 11:41 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 727
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
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Owen, thanks for pointing that out. I guess I didn't realize it as I wrote it. To the scrap bin or at least another look. Thanks for commenting.



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