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WHY
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 Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2018 03:26 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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I can't wrap my head around this situation
What could bring a man falling to his knees
Did he finally find the glory that he searched for
Or did he finally get to answer his own plea

The note he left said I'll miss you all so much
So why the hell did you have to leave this way
Sometimes all we think about is giving
While learning that the world is all take

Your shadows have quickly turned to memries
When we call out your name there's no reply
Now your pain is all shared between us
As we sit here asking ourselves why

I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we all wonder why

Did your mansion await you
Did you look in His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep wondering why

All the questions left unanswered
Build a void based on regret
Could anyone have helped you
We try retracing all our steps

I would have talked to you for hours
If it would have given you a chance
This still feels overwhelming
That this came by your own hand

And I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we're all left to cry

Did your mansion await you
Did you look into His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep asking ourselves why

We keep on contemplating
The last hours of your life
There is no simple answer
When all the questions start with why


Copyright Michael P. Dudash 7/11/2018

Last edited on Thu Jul 26th, 2018 02:32 am by M.P. Dudash



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 Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2018 06:58 am
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RainyDayMan
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I think you've captured the sad wondering and endless questions that family and friends have in this situation.

The latter verses feel a little short on syllables vs the first ones which might need a bit of filling. Perhaps something to address later if it gets set to music.

Well written.

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 Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2018 02:02 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks Owen.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2018 07:56 pm
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jdtaper
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So many Country songs ask the quesiton why you hurt her and never give any clear answes. That's what makes the pain so real. Again, I'm more of a fan of Contemporary, Pop-friendly Country than Traditional Country, but we definitely need more songs like this on the radio.

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 Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2018 08:59 pm
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LongShadows
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I feel like you revealed too much too soon. V2 L1 the note you left tipped me off to the extent that I was less interested in reading further. V3 kind of says it without saying it, which I prefer. Maybe V2 could be cycled down to some point where the reader/listener should have figured it out by now. Other than that, nice work.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2018 09:00 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks JD! I had forgot about this one but read back through and found some needed revisions. Thanks for looking.

I can't wrap my head around this
What brings a man down to his knees
Did he finally find the glory
Or did he answer his own plea

His note simply said I'll miss you
So why the hell leave us this way
All we think about is giving
While this world is all take

Your shadows turned to memries
With your name comes no reply
Now your pain is shared between us
As we sit here asking why

I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we all sit and cry

Did your mansion await you
Did you look into His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep asking ourselves why

All the questions left unanswered
Build a void based on regret
Could anyone have helped save you
We try retracing all our steps

I would have talked to you for hours
If it would have given you a chance
This still feels overwhelming
That this came by your own hand

And I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we're all left to cry

Did your mansion await you
Did you look into His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep asking ourselves why

We keep on contemplating
The last hours of your life
There is no simple answer
When all the questions start with why


Copyright Michael P. Dudash 7/11/2018

Last edited on Tue Aug 21st, 2018 09:04 pm by M.P. Dudash



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Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
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 Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2018 09:06 pm
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7th Post
M.P. Dudash
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Location: Ohio USA
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Thanks Longshadows! Now I'm not sure what to do. Maybe a total rework.



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 Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2018 09:14 pm
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8th Post
M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
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Longshadows, how's this feel to you? Maybe the fix was a simple one.

I can't wrap my head around this
What brings a man down to his knees
Did he finally find the glory
Or did he answer his own plea

Your shadows turned to memries
With your name comes no reply
Now your pain is shared between us
As we sit here asking why

I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we all sit and cry

Did your mansion await you
Did you look into His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep asking ourselves why

All the questions left unanswered
Build a void filled with regret
Could anyone have helped save you
We try retracing all our steps

I would have talked to you for hours
If it would have given you a chance
This still feels overwhelming
That this came by your own hand

And I wonder why
Did you go tonight
Do the angels rejoice
At the sound of your voice
While we're all left to cry

Did your mansion await you
Did you look into His eyes
Though we'll never understand
Was this part of a bigger plan
We keep asking ourselves why

His note simply said I'll miss you
But why the hell leave us this way
Maybe all the pain
Was more than you could take

We keep on contemplating
The last hours of your life
There is no simple answer
When all the questions start with why


Copyright Michael P. Dudash 7/11/2018



____________________
Takamine GN71CE Sunburst
Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
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 Posted: Wed Aug 22nd, 2018 03:27 am
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9th Post
LongShadows
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Joined: Wed Jul 18th, 2012
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M.P. Dudash wrote:
Longshadows, how's this feel to you? Maybe the fix was a simple one.

Works for me. But it's your song so it's your row to hoe.
I always try to keep things fluid and flexible, lines and verses rarely end up in the same order as they were written.



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