The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

He Came to Faith
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Tue May 8th, 2018 03:26 pm
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
All of my current music was written for a secular audience.
However, it does come from a Christian worldview.

Two or three of the songs I have written and
recorded demos for would also fit under the heading
of gospel based on the message or lyrical content.

This song is one of those three.
I'll bring the others for review later.

Here's a link to the demo recording.
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522/he-came-to-faith
Lyrics below. Song explantion below the lyrics.

Apologies for the horribly distorted and incomplete
guitar solo at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Title: He Came to Faith
Track Time: 02:13 / BPM: 70

VS
He came to faith -
or should I say returned?
The hard way back -
over bridges he had burned

Rebellious heart -
once hard as stone
Made some mistakes -
he had to own

Heard the voice of God -
while he was just a lad
Didn't realize -
exactly what he had

He walked away -
following the crowd
Became defiant -
self-centered and proud

He came to faith -
and now he's standing strong
Triumphant now -
over all that he'd done wrong

CH/ending
He came to faith - he came to faith

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song is a personal testimony of my spiritual journey.
It was easier to write and sing in the second person.
What's your story?

- Steve



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top 


 Posted: Mon May 14th, 2018 09:29 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
More about this song.

The process and timing of this recording was interesting.
To me at least.

This demo was recorded on the third day that I began to record demos.

Carmel Corn was the first song to be recorded.
Five days later I recorded, When Life Shows Up.

For my third day of recording, a week later, I recorded 3 songs in one day.
- I Can't Sing
- Yellow Hand
- He Came to Faith
The song, Pour My Ashes was recorded the following day.
So, 4 songs in 2 days.

I also recall doing vocal tracks on 7 songs in one day.
I'll never do that again. I can hear the fatigue on some of the tracks.

When I wrote the lyrics for, He Came to Faith,
the original idea was writing a general song about
someone on a spiritual journey of coming to faith.
But ended up as my own story written in the second person.

I suppose this song is not really a gospel song,
but it has a gospel message.

- Steve

PS - For more of the story on the making of my demos,
here's an interview on YouTube.

How To Get Started Recording Your Own Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NB7ueBhJgE

Last edited on Mon May 14th, 2018 10:26 pm by Motorist Sketchbook



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Aug 18th, 2018 04:12 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
samiamiamsam
Member


Joined: Mon Jun 18th, 2018
Location: Charlotte , North Carolina USA
Posts: 554
Favorite Artist: Beatles, Pink Floyd, Leadbelly, Nirvana, REM, Leonard Cohen, Robert Johnson
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Hey Steve, you and I have been talking about spirituality lately so I decided to review your song. I actually thought I had already reviewed this.

First of all your lyrics are beautiful. I love every line. The opening in particular is very powerful.

'He came to faith -
or should I say returned?
The hard way back -
over bridges he had burned'

That line really resonates with me because it happened to me. I was raised in the church but left for a while. I never lost my faith, but those were truly dark days for me.

Anyways, thanks for sharing this song with us.



____________________
Here is my YouTube and SoundCloud page with some of my original music.

https://www.youtube.com/user/odomodometer
https://soundcloud.com/user-71329120
Back To Top 


 Posted: Wed Jan 23rd, 2019 01:20 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
Andrea
Contributor
 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 585
Favorite Artist: Queen, Tom Petty, Metallica, Kansas, Guns N' Roses
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
I really like this.

One thought I had was that this could be a refrain:
"Rebellious heart -
once hard as stone
Made some mistakes -
he had to own

I felt like it could have been repeated after:
He walked away -
following the crowd
Became defiant -
self-centered and proud

I guess I feel like there is a small gap between the last 2 verses. I see him walking away, but what brought him back?



____________________
Andrea
Back To Top


 Posted: Wed Jan 23rd, 2019 02:01 pm
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Andrea wrote: I really like this.

One thought I had was that this could be a refrain:
"Rebellious heart -
once hard as stone
Made some mistakes -
he had to own

I felt like it could have been repeated after:
He walked away -
following the crowd
Became defiant -
self-centered and proud

I guess I feel like there is a small gap between the last 2 verses. I see him walking away, but what brought him back?

That's a good idea.
I may need two stanzas to make it work.
How does this strike you?

- Sketch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As he matured -
came time to re-assess
Lines once blurred -
the cause of such a mess

Then came the time -
he had to choose a side
To take a stand -
with no place left to hide
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The word "re-assess" is a little awkward.
But rhymes nicely with "mess".

Here it is in the context of the verse before and after.
I also moved the "refrain" verse forward in the order.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He walked away -
following the crowd
Became defiant -
self-centered and proud

Rebellious heart -
once hard as stone
Made some mistakes -
he had to own

As he matured -
came time to re-assess
Lines once blurred -
the cause of such a mess

Then came the time -
he had to choose a side
To take a stand -
with no place left to hide

He came to faith -
and now he's standing strong
Triumphant now -
over all that he'd done wrong
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Does that work?
What could we use to replace "re-assess"? (and "mess")
Or does that work for you?

The words "review" and "new" come to mind.
But I don't think they are as strong as "re-assess" and "mess".


Last edited on Wed Jan 23rd, 2019 02:19 pm by Motorist Sketchbook



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top 


 Posted: Wed Jan 23rd, 2019 06:38 pm
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
Andrea
Contributor
 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 585
Favorite Artist: Queen, Tom Petty, Metallica, Kansas, Guns N' Roses
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
You work fast. Let me think a bit on this.



____________________
Andrea
Back To Top


 Posted: Wed Jan 23rd, 2019 07:47 pm
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Andrea wrote: You work fast. Let me think a bit on this.
Scary fast...

I was considering starting a Demo-In-A-Day recording service.
(I must be crazy) lol

- Sketch




____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Jan 25th, 2019 10:39 am
  PMQuoteReply
8th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Here is the new updated version.
Two verses were added to address the gap that Andrea was seeing.

This follows a better chronology.
Previous verse two was swapped with previous verse three.

So, thanks to Andrea's keen eye, I present to you...


Title: He Came to Faith
Track Time: 00:00 / BPM: 70
 
- VERSES -
He came to faith -
or should I say returned?
The hard way back -
over bridges he had burned

Heard the voice of God -
while he was just a lad
Didn't realize -
exactly what he had

He walked away -
following the crowd
Became defiant -
self-centered and proud

Rebellious heart -
once hard as stone
Made some mistakes -
he had to own

As he matured -
came time to re-assess
Lines once blurred -
the cause of such a mess

Then came the time -
he had to choose a side
To take a stand -
with no place left to hide

He came to faith -
and now he's standing strong
Triumphant now -
over all that he'd done wrong

- ENDING -
He came to faith - he came to faith

© Steve Lundgren 2018/2019
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Last edited on Fri Jan 25th, 2019 10:53 am by Motorist Sketchbook



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Jan 26th, 2019 03:41 am
  PMQuoteReply
9th Post
M.P. Dudash
Contributor


Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 972
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
I am a: Other
Status: 
Offline
Nice work Steve. I hope to someday get the guts to sing and put my own lyrics out as well. Gotta get this dang guitar down though.



____________________
Takamine GN71CE Sunburst
Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sat Jan 26th, 2019 02:34 pm
  PMQuoteReply
10th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
M.P. Dudash wrote: Nice work Steve. I hope to someday get the guts to sing and put my own lyrics out as well. Gotta get this dang guitar down though.
Hey thanks for the listen/read and positive comments.

I have seen lots of folks become proficient on the guitar in a year or two.
And a few that were up and running in a matter of months.

This song is super easy to play. Just two chords. C and Am.
If you can finger those two chords and move back and forth between them,
you could play this song. If you can sing while you play the chords,
you have arrived. I can't even do that. lol

- Sketch

PS  --- I'm actually a terrible guitar player.
The recording software makes me sound like a pro. lol
(amazing what you can do with copy/paste)



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Mar 29th, 2019 02:04 pm
  PMQuoteReply
11th Post
Janke
Contributor


Joined: Fri Jul 9th, 2010
Location: Harpers Ferry, USA
Posts: 1104
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
I really like the riff, Steve. Catchy. My thought is that it's begging for a modulation. As for the story, 'he came to faith' strikes me as the peak of the journey. So I'd start the journey more like a beginning, make vs. 1 'heard the voice of God when he was just a lad...,' and work the tale chronologically from there. My thoughts. Cheers. BTW, I think you sound a little like Neil Young!

Back To Top 


 Posted: Sat Mar 30th, 2019 12:44 am
  PMQuoteReply
12th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Janke wrote: I really like the riff, Steve. Catchy. My thought is that it's begging for a modulation. As for the story, 'he came to faith' strikes me as the peak of the journey. So I'd start the journey more like a beginning, make vs. 1 'heard the voice of God when he was just a lad...,' and work the tale chronologically from there. My thoughts. Cheers. BTW, I think you sound a little like Neil Young!
Yes. I get the Neil Young comparison a lot.
I was never a huge fan, but I guess I did like his voice.
And sometimes I sing to myself Horse with No Name. lol
Such a great hook.

Andrea had encouraged me by her critique to add to the lyrics.
See verses five and six.

I was planning to add those to the recording at some point
with the key change modulation you mentioned.
So, I agree with the comment, obviously.

Thanks for the review and listen. Watch for the extended version yet to come.

- Sketch



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Apr 26th, 2019 11:37 am
  PMQuoteReply
13th Post
jamestoffee
Member


Joined: Thu Apr 25th, 2019
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Posts: 45
Favorite Artist: Sting, JohnMayer, SarahMcL,Yes, Beatles, CaitlinRose, Lush, SufjanStevens
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Online
I like the feel and groove. It's laid back.

Nice vocals and gtr work.

For consideration...

It would be nice to hear a bit more contrast musically.

I'm not sure the music matches the concept in the lyrics; similar to the Prodigal Son (laid back music compared with emotion angst and jubilation)

>He came to faith - or should I say returned?

Yes, you should say returned b/c the rest of the song keeps jumping around in time making it challenging for the listener to follow

>The hard way back - over bridges he had burned

If the bridges burned maybe talk about having to swim the current, or lay new stepping stones

>Heard the voice of God -while he was just a lad
>Didn't realize - exactly what he had

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>He walked away -following the crowd
>Became defiant -self-centered and proud

Try concrete details

>Rebellious heart -once hard as stone
>Made some mistakes -he had to own

Time line gets confused; past before referred to connection with God; now past is disconnection

>As he matured -came time to re-assess
>Lines once blurred -the cause of such a mess

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>Then came the time -he had to choose a side
>To take a stand -with no place left to hide

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>He came to faith -and now he's standing strong
>Triumphant now -over all that he'd done wrong

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

Also, it would seem faith draws more concepts about dependency on God rather than self-triumph.

Take or toss the suggestions as you see fit.

Thanks for sharing.

James



____________________
https://cjamesconrad.bandcamp.com/track/daddies-and-daughters?fbclid=IwAR0x-doQ40NUeeZZt6oinWwmJp0WMflxujn_3XM46lZFr6PPR0BJDQBoRuw

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandid=253763
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Apr 26th, 2019 11:45 am
  PMQuoteReply
14th Post
Motorist Sketchbook
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 28th, 2018
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Posts: 781
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
jamestoffee wrote: I like the feel and groove. It's laid back.

Nice vocals and gtr work.

For consideration...

It would be nice to hear a bit more contrast musically.

I'm not sure the music matches the concept in the lyrics; similar to the Prodigal Son (laid back music compared with emotion angst and jubilation)

>He came to faith - or should I say returned?

Yes, you should say returned b/c the rest of the song keeps jumping around in time making it challenging for the listener to follow

>The hard way back - over bridges he had burned

If the bridges burned maybe talk about having to swim the current, or lay new stepping stones

>Heard the voice of God -while he was just a lad
>Didn't realize - exactly what he had

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>He walked away -following the crowd
>Became defiant -self-centered and proud

Try concrete details

>Rebellious heart -once hard as stone
>Made some mistakes -he had to own

Time line gets confused; past before referred to connection with God; now past is disconnection

>As he matured -came time to re-assess
>Lines once blurred -the cause of such a mess

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>Then came the time -he had to choose a side
>To take a stand -with no place left to hide

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

>He came to faith -and now he's standing strong
>Triumphant now -over all that he'd done wrong

Try a show instead of tell; What specifically is being referred to?

Also, it would seem faith draws more concepts about dependency on God rather than self-triumph.

Take or toss the suggestions as you see fit.

Thanks for sharing.

James

Thanks James,

What do you mean by "show instead of tell"?

- Sketch



____________________
Blue Collar Road Scholar

Motorist Sketchbook - SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Apr 26th, 2019 12:42 pm
  PMQuoteReply
15th Post
jamestoffee
Member


Joined: Thu Apr 25th, 2019
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Posts: 45
Favorite Artist: Sting, JohnMayer, SarahMcL,Yes, Beatles, CaitlinRose, Lush, SufjanStevens
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Online
Motorist Sketchbook wrote:
What do you mean by "show instead of tell"?

RainyDayMan has a good example in his song "Yellow House"
"You wanted Sunflowers for our yellow house"

Here it shows a singer confirming the listener was hopeful and caring/loving towards the future of spending time together.

If you haven’t read it yet, consider reading Andrea Stolpe’s Popular Lyric Writing. There are a lot of great techniques. One that helps with combining show and tell is called “toggling” – using lines to switch between external (sensory details) and internal (thoughts). She uses John Mayor’s song “Why Georgia” as an example:

I’m driving up 85 (external)
in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon (external/internal)
just stuck inside the gloom (internal)

Here's an example not from the book:

Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now"

Picture perfect memories Scattered all around the floor (external)
Reaching for the phone 'cause, I can't fight it anymore (external & internal)
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind (internal)
For me it happens all the time (internal)


Another example not in the book in Bob Dylan’s “Tangled up in Blue”
And later on as the crowd thinned out
I's just about to do the same
She was standing there in back of my chair
Said to me, Don't I know your name?
I muttered somethin' under my breath
She studied the lines on my face
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
When she bent down to tie the laces
Of my shoe
Tangled up in blue

...It basically comes down to using more concrete/sensory details and fewer abstract nouns.....NOT necessarily ALL or ONLY concrete details, but certainly fewer abstract nouns.



____________________
https://cjamesconrad.bandcamp.com/track/daddies-and-daughters?fbclid=IwAR0x-doQ40NUeeZZt6oinWwmJp0WMflxujn_3XM46lZFr6PPR0BJDQBoRuw

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandid=253763
Back To Top 


Current time is 12:41 am

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1882 seconds (10% database + 90% PHP). 33 queries executed.