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Motorist Sketchbook
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Here's a link to a song to review. Lyrics below.

https://soundcloud.com/user-426611522/to-the-end-of-the-world

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: To the End of the World
Track Time: 03:03 / BPM: 76

VS 1
I could make this last stop -
head back to the shop
Wake up tomorrow -
and do it all again
Or I could drive this truck -
to the end of the world

VS 2
I could make this last appointment -
to finish out my day -
and fight the rush hour traffic -
all the way home
Or I could drive this car -
to the end of the world

VS 3
I could get off this bus -
at my downtown stop -
and hear the bad news -
I fear from my doctor
Or I could ride this bus -
to the end of the world

VS 4
I could turn this bike around -
at the usual spot -
and head back on the trail to my car
Or I could ride this bike -
to the end of the world

VS/CH/ending
It seems -
the grass is always greener -
on the other side
But when we finally get there -
we're still not satisfied
At the end -
at the end of the world
At the end of the world

© Steve Lundgren 2018

--- EDIT ---

"©" added.

Last edited on Thu May 3rd, 2018 11:43 pm by Motorist Sketchbook

RainyDayMan
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Nice, laidback feeling. Quite an original theme and style which is great. I like the pauses before the "to the end of the world" lines in each verse.

I didn't connect emotionally with the song. Felt more like something you had written for yourself than for others. Nothing wrong with that, if it's the case, as long as it's not intended for commercial purposes.

I don't think the echo/delay on the vocals is helping the track - just making it harder to hear the words. See what other opinions you get on that.

I think your voice suits the song quite well.

The ending felt a bit out of place to me, like it didn't logically flow from what came before. Makes me wonder whether there is more to this in your head than made it down on paper.

Motorist Sketchbook
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Thanks for the feedback.

Some listeners relate to the theme and others don't.
It's that mysterious instinct to get away from life by running away.
The fleeting thought that we typically can overcome.

I tried something interesting with the chord progression on this one.
It starts with the ii-V-I jazz standard and then changes to a pop vi-V
leading to a blues turnaround.

This song was recorded on New Years Day 2018. Conceived, written,
and recorded in a matter of hours. I was really in the zone that day. IMHO

Lyrically, it speaks to the thought that many have had about breaking loose
from what we are expected to do and escaping somehow. It's a romanticized
daydream that we never follow through on. Or at least not fully.

M.P. Dudash
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Steve, you were correct that this can work, as you’ve just demonstrated. I really think once I can put music to my lyrics I will be able to get my ideas out much better. Thanks

Motorist Sketchbook
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M.P. Dudash wrote: Steve, you were correct that this can work, as you’ve just demonstrated. I really think once I can put music to my lyrics I will be able to get my ideas out much better. Thanks
You got it.
Feel free to PM me for suggestions on free online guitar instruction.

- Sketch

Andrea
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I like the different scenarios of everyday life that might make you want to escape to a far away place.

The pauses between the verses works really well.

Motorist Sketchbook
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Andrea wrote: I like the different scenarios of everyday life that might make you want to escape to a far away place.

The pauses between the verses works really well.

Thanks for the listen and comments, Andrea.

I think many have experienced this urge at a turning point.
To keep going rather than go where you are supposed to go.
But we typically end up going where we are supposed to go.
But what if we didn't?

The pause at the end of the verses is a blues turnaround.
I explained it this way in post #3 above.
"I tried something interesting with the chord progression on this one.
It starts with the ii-V-I jazz standard and then changes to a pop vi-V
leading to a blues turnaround." (I-V-I-V)

- Sketch

PS -- The Roman numerals refer to the corresponding chords in the Major scale.
I-ii-iii-IV-V-vi-vii -- The one, four and five intervals are major chords.

Andrea
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I did read about the pauses - it is a little over my head, but understood most of it. In any case - I like it :)


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