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When I Wake
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Fri Apr 27th, 2018 01:04 pm
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Number Two
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I have added the link for this song below.

Two things about this song. One. I intended this song should alternate between loud and quiet. However I do not have the range to reach the high notes. In particular when I first sing 'Ma vision of you.' I wanted this to be not so much loud but more of an explosion. Something that would shock the listener. Also the next three lines should be louder. Use your imagination. Two. At the beginning there is a spoken piece. I do not like this and am uncertain whether to remove it completely or replace it with 'Ah know you ain't no classic beauty. But when Ah wake and look at you ma honey you are something else.'


https://soundcloud.com/tom-lesley/when-i-wake

When I Wake.

First thing in the morning.
As Ah open ma eyes.
All Ah want to see.
Is you layin next to me.
You are the one for me.
You're all Ah want you to be.
When Ah wake.
All Ah want to see.
Is you layin next to me.

Ma vision of you.
Is all it could be.
Beautiful woman.
Ah layin next to me.

You close your eyes.
You dream your dream.
You are .. most beatify woman.
Ah have ever seen.

Now Ah want you to know.
The way Ah feel.
The way Ah love.
Is surreal.

Just one look at you.
Filled me with desire.
You've opened ma heart.
Set it on fire.

Ma vision of you etc.

Last edited on Fri Apr 27th, 2018 10:31 pm by RainyDayMan

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 Posted: Fri Apr 27th, 2018 10:36 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Nice to hear the melody for this.

I've popped this across into the Music Database section now that you have a recording, and added the lyric from your original post - really helps to read it as you are listening.

You've put some thought into this. I like the pauses in the melody - adds some tension, and the changes to the dynamic (loud/soft) that you describe should also add interest.
The tempo is also a good fit for a love song.

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 Posted: Sat Apr 28th, 2018 09:00 pm
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Dogmax
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Every time i listen to this i like it more, the way you use your vocal and of course that wonderful scottish accent for me makes your song, i listen to this again tonight and i'm thinking, after about 32 seconds maybe one instrument coming in and your vocals pausing for a few seconds then continue with the instrument sound in the background, after that there's a flow of a build up but at the moment i don't know, you would need to hear back yourself and decide, but at the moment uniquely really good :cool:



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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2018 01:58 am
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bluesguy63
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I really like the lyrics but can't get it to play?

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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2018 11:32 pm
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Number Two
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Hi

I tried this link and had no problem in accessing the song. I would suggest you go to SoundCloud and type in my name tom lesley. This should bring you to my page where you should see my song listed. Hope this works.

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