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Fade
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2018 08:53 pm
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Kinkajou123
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Hey there, I have recently been teaching myself piano after I found out I could access the Pianos at my uni and although I can neither read music or play existing songs too well, I have produced a song and written some lyrics. This song is called Fade. I havn't recorded a full version with vocals as of yet as I only have my phone to record and it's not great for recording both at the same time (Also I'm not the best singer). Perhaps one of the singers on this forum would like to collaborate?

Here is the link https://youtu.be/R8TERvar8zk

Again, this was just recorded on my phone and so the quality probably isn't the greatest. The lyrics are as follows:(It's a bit cliche and perhaps cheesy but it felt right)



Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all
but here I stand about to fall
Ive been broken in two and the missing piece is you

they say that times a healer
and that i'll be fine
but how can I live on if youre not mine
theres a hole in the space where you used to walk beside me

and I'm slowly wasting away
Slowly wasting away

Torn apart
And left to wait
Broke my heart
And that's my fate

Torn apart
and left to wait
Until the day
I fade away

I can't eat or drink
or even fall asleep
I never knew an angel could cut so deep
now I'm bleeding inside and the wound will never heal

I long for the clean mind of childhood
You were the only one who ever understood
now I'm a living ghost
and the rest they see right through me

And I'm slowly wasting away
slowly wasting away

Torn apart
And left to wait
Broke my heart
And that's my fate

Torn apart
and left to wait
Until the day
I fade away

Last edited on Fri Apr 13th, 2018 04:56 pm by Kinkajou123

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 Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2018 11:34 pm
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LongShadows
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It's hard too avoid cliche when travelling such a well trodden path.
If it feels cheesy, just toss the core ideas in the blender
and tap pulse a couple times, try to find a way to say the same thing in a different way.
And don't marry the first pretty end-rhyme that smiles at you.

It's not all that cliche, though, there's some jewels shining in there.
I like a hole in the space you used to walk beside me and the rapid-fire rhyming in the chorus.

I look forward to your next offering

Last edited on Mon Feb 19th, 2018 11:41 pm by LongShadows



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 Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2018 01:19 am
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RainyDayMan
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It looks like you have removed the video, so I can't comment on that.

I liked:
Ive been broken in two and the missing piece is you
theres a hole in the space where you used to walk beside me

The chorus reads like it should work. Lots of room to sing it out.

Plenty of emotion, and that is always a good thing.

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 Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2018 10:10 pm
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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its a shame you've removed the video I would have like to of heard it!



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https://soundcloud.com/elijah-falls
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 Posted: Mon Apr 16th, 2018 01:55 am
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Kinkajou123
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Hey, I replaced the link

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 Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2018 09:20 pm
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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Hi, I finally got to see your youtube video and I read the lyrics along to it. I'm not sure what vocal style you were thinking of but I got a Tom DeLonge vibe. To me your piano progression were very reminiscent of Blink 182's style I think a similar vocal style would most definitely suit it!

Nice one, you gotta finish it man!:)

Last edited on Wed Apr 25th, 2018 09:20 pm by Billy_Lunch_Money



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